Why Does Tinder Make You Verify Before You Can Message Someone?

Because the person you are trying to write to has turned on Photo Verified Chat. That Tinder setting lets a Photo Verified member receive messages only from other Photo Verified people. When someone who is not verified tries to write to them, Tinder asks that person to complete Photo Verification first, which is the screen you are looking at.

Photo Verified Chat is a message setting, and only members who are Photo Verified themselves can use it. They switch it on from the Safety Shield in their Match List, under Update Message Settings.

Once it is on, the filter runs in one direction. Messages from verified people reach them as normal. Anyone who is not verified gets sent to Photo Verification before the message can go through.

So the screen tells you something about her, not about you. She matched with you, which means she liked what she saw. She has simply decided that the men who write to her must first show that their photos are really them.

From her side, it is a sensible choice. The profile coaching guides point out that women on the apps are wary of fake accounts and of men who look too good to be true. A man with borrowed or years-old photos wastes her evening at best. At worst, he is not who he claims to be at all.

Photo Verified Chat lets her skip that whole category without reading a single line. She set it once, and it screens every unverified sender from then on.

Photo Verification is a short video selfie that Tinder checks against the photos on your account. It takes a few minutes, and once you pass, the message you wanted to send can go through.

Before you start, make sure at least one of your photos is a clear, recent shot of you alone with your whole face visible. Tinder compares your video with your photos, so a set made only of group shots and sunglasses gives it nothing to compare. Record the video somewhere well lit, looking straight at the phone, with the cap off.

The badge also stays with you. The next woman who has this setting on will not stop you at all.

If you would rather not verify, that is your choice, but it also settles this match. Her setting stays as it is whoever writes to her, so verification is the only way your message reaches her.

This is the part men miss. Verification gets your message delivered. It does not make her answer it.

a dating coach's rule for a first message is that it should be about her and give her something to react to. Sending "hey" after all that effort wastes the effort. Look at her photos and whatever she wrote, and make a light guess about her that she can confirm or deny.

"You look like the friend who plans the whole trip and then gets everyone lost" is the kind of line that gets a reply, because she gets to tell you whether you are right. Keep it short, and ask one question at most.

Why does a guess work so well? My explanation is that even when she does not care much about you yet, she cares about herself and how she comes across. A line about her taps into that. A line about you asks her to be interested before she has any reason to be.

Once you are Photo Verified, the same setting is open to you. Go to your Match List, tap the Safety Shield, and choose Update Message Settings.

Whether you want it is your call. It keeps accounts that have not verified their photos from writing to you, which screens out a lot of noise. It will also stop some genuine women who simply have not got round to verifying. If your inbox keeps filling with accounts that look like bots, it is worth trying for a while.

Men sometimes read the verification screen as a brush-off and move on. That gets it backwards. A woman with Photo Verified Chat on has already matched with you, and she has set things up so that the men who reach her are real.

Verify, write her something she will enjoy answering, and suggest a plan once the conversation has some life in it. My view of app dating is simple. She is there to meet people, and she already likes you a little. So the quickest route to a date is a good first line, then an easy, specific invitation.