How Do You Pick Up Women in a Venue With Too Many Men?

Do not compete with the crowd. Arrive early, before the men outnumber the women, or pick a different spot in the same place. Be friendly with everyone, talk to the whole group instead of only the woman you like, and do not look like one more man in a line of men. If the ratio stays bad for the night, leave and find a better venue instead of fighting it.

A room with ten men for every woman is a hard place to work. Every woman there has been approached all night, and she is tired of it. The way out is to be different, not louder.

Walk the whole venue before you order a drink. Look at the dance floor, the bar and the patio. Count roughly how many men stand around versus how many women. If you see groups of men watching groups of women, with few real conversations, the room is hard.

a dating coach says venue selection changes results more than most men admit. Choose a place that suits you, where you fit in and where the women you want are likely to be, not just the one with the best reputation. The most famous club in town is not always the best one for you.

Ratios shift through the night. Early in the evening, women often arrive in groups first, and the men come later. If you show up at the start, you get fresher women, fewer rivals and easier conversation. Midweek nights or smaller venues have the same advantage.

Another trick is to go when the crowd is thinning. After midnight, some places lose many of the men while the women stay. Read the room and move to match it.

In a room full of men, the average opener sounds the same: a drink offer, a pickup line, a "hey, can I talk to you." Women hear it fifty times a night. Do something different.

Say hello to the whole group with a warm tone and a real smile. Make a comment about the night, the music or the crowd, not about her looks. Be funny about the situation: "I counted the men in here. I think we are outnumbered by the guys who are about to buy you a drink, so I will just say hi and leave you alone." A relaxed, honest line like that lets her laugh, which very few men in the room will have done.

a dating coach explains that the hottest women are almost never alone. In a venue with too many men, groups of women often stand tight to avoid being approached. Engage everyone in the group, not just the woman you want. If you talk to one and ignore the rest, the others get jealous or annoyed, and her friends will pull her away. If you talk to all of them, they become your allies and your social proof.

Open the group with a collective line, then turn to your target. Keep your sexual interest on one woman, and stay friendly and fun with the others.

The bar rail, the dance floor entrance and the line at the bathroom are where men gather. Women feel watched there. Try quieter parts of the venue: a side lounge, a patio, a booth near the edge. Women often relax away from the crowd, and you will have fewer men interrupting.

If another man cuts in on you, stay friendly. Do not turn it into a contest. Let him go first, and ask the woman something else. Your calm in the face of competition will look attractive.

Sometimes the ratio is just too bad. If it is nine o'clock, the room has forty men and eight women, and every approach gets cold looks, stop. Pay your tab, walk out and try a lounge or a different club. Better to spend your energy somewhere you have a real chance than to burn it for an hour in a place that does not work.

You can also switch to daytime. Women out in the day are not surrounded by crowds of men. Cafes, bookstores and streets give you far better odds than a packed bar.

Picking venues and adjusting to a room are skills a coach can teach on the spot. On a Cold Approach Bootcamp in Miami or New York, every training day has two four-hour blocks in the field, with night game and daygame mixed to suit the student. A coach gives live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set, including when to stay, when to move and when to call it. Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach, and Private is 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. There is no skill floor, and every student leaves with a written practice plan.