What Should You Do Before a Night Out to Meet More Women?

Settle four things before you leave the house: where you are going, what you will say to the first woman you want to meet, how long you are staying, and how you will warm up. A man who walks in with those four answers starts talking to women early in the night. A man who walks in with none of them spends the first hour holding a drink and watching the room.

• Pick a venue near where you live, and one where you can hear the person in front of you.
• Carry one opener you can say without thinking, so you never stand there searching for words.
• Decide your end time on purpose. Early phone numbers go cold, and the end of the night is when most women are ready to leave with someone.
• Warm up before the first bar. Do not arrive cold.
• Most women are out in groups, so plan to win the group as well as the woman.

Where you go decides who you meet and where the night can end. a dating coach tells men to choose a venue close to home when they can. A bar five minutes from your door beats a slightly better bar thirty-five minutes away, because the women out near you live near you. A second date is easy to set up, and taking someone home is a short ride instead of a long negotiation.

Then ask whether you would enjoy talking to the crowd. If the music is so loud that you cannot hear her name, you have a nightclub for dancing, and nothing in it helps you start a conversation. A place that is a little exclusive usually brings a better mix of women to men, but a room that is too exclusive can be hard to work. a dating coach likes upscale lounges, rooftops and hotel bars. Bars near a university can bring a good crowd too.

The single biggest improvement to most men's nights is a default opener. It is the line you fall back on when nothing original comes to you. It can be as plain as telling her she caught your eye and you wanted to say hello, or asking for her opinion on something small.

Without one, the sequence goes like this. You see a woman standing alone, you start hunting for the perfect line, and ten seconds later a guy has joined her group. Bars move fast. Eye contact lasts a moment as someone walks past, and if you speak during it, the opening feels natural. If you wait until she has gone by, you are starting from nothing. A default opener also removes your best excuse for hesitating, and hesitation is what hurts most men more than any line ever could.

As you improve you will use the default less and invent more on the spot. You keep it anyway, for the nights when your head goes quiet.

Nerves burn energy, and a night out is hours on your feet. Eat something real before you go and drink water through the evening. If you need several drinks to start talking, you have built a crutch, and it will not be there when you see a woman you like at a coffee shop the next afternoon. Keep it to one or two, or none.

Warm up your social side too. Talk to a few people during the day, at the gym, in a shop, with a coworker. a dating coach says of one Bootcamp student that the many daygame approaches he did warmed him up for the night sessions. Men who spend the whole day alone at a computer walk into a loud bar and feel the stimulation as a wall.

Decide your hours before you leave. If you plan to go home around midnight while the rest of the room is just getting started, you will collect weak numbers. A woman who gives you her number at the start of the night keeps partying, meets other men, and by the end you are not the most recent or the most memorable thing that happened to her.

Staying until the end also helps for another reason. Early in the night, women are loyal to their friends. By closing time they have had their time together, they are looser, and the venue itself is telling everyone to leave. "Where should we go next" is an easy question to ask at that point.

You still need a limit, because staying out too late three nights running is how men burn out. Set a time, and break your own rule only when a good conversation is live.

Very few of the women you want to meet will be alone. When she is in a group, you are talking to two audiences. With her friends, be cool, fun and safe. With the woman you like, add a little risk and some real interest. Introduce yourself to the friends early, on your terms. If her friends have to drag her away before they have met you, it is too late.

Find out early who she is with and how much freedom she has. A woman who will not go more than a few steps from her friends is probably not leaving with you tonight, but she may still be a good date, so get the number and move on. Groups of two are hard alone, and a wingman helps, but never let a wingman become your reason not to approach.

You can read all of this and still lock up in the doorway. A Cold Approach Bootcamp runs in the field in Miami and New York. Every training day has two four-hour blocks, with daygame and night game mixed to suit the student. Group runs three consecutive days at three students to a coach. Private is one, two or three days, fully 1-on-1. Your coach is next to you for each approach and gives feedback after every set. No experience is required. You leave with a written practice plan for your next night out.