eHarmony Profile Questions and How to Answer Them

eHarmony asks you short questions about your life, your habits and what you want, and each one is a chance to show a woman a scene instead of a label. Answer every one you are given, write two or three sentences, and make each answer specific enough that only you could have written it. The sections below cover how to handle each kind of question.

eHarmony says many members pass over profiles that look empty or half finished. That is the first thing a woman sees before she reads a single word of what you wrote.

A blank answer does not read as mysterious. It reads as a man who skipped the work, on a site where everyone else sat down and did it. So fill in all of them, even the ones that feel awkward. A short, honest answer beats a blank one, and a specific two-sentence answer beats both.

This is the easy one, and it is where most men write the weakest answer. "I like hanging out with friends, going to the gym and trying new restaurants" fits ten thousand men on the site.

Think of last Saturday instead. What did you actually do, and where? "Saturday mornings I run the loop around the reservoir, then eat way too many eggs at the diner by the bridge" gives her a place, a routine and a small joke. It also hands her an easy question to ask you, which is the real job of the answer.

You do not need an impressive title. You need a sentence she can picture.

Say what you do in plain words, then say one concrete thing about a normal day. "I fix commercial refrigerators, so I am the person restaurants call at six in the morning" is better than "I work in maintenance." If your job is hard to explain, skip the job title and describe what you handle.

Do not complain about it, and do not brag about your pay. Either one makes her wonder how you talk about the rest of your life.

This is the answer a woman reads most carefully, because it tells her whether your goals fit hers. a dating coach's point about every dating site applies here: you attract what you describe. Write like a man who wants something casual and casual is what shows up. Write like a man who wants a relationship and the women who answer want one too.

Say it in your own words, and say it warmly. "I am looking for someone I can be silly with and also talk to seriously at eleven at night" tells her the kind of partner you are. A list of things you refuse to put up with tells her about your last relationship instead.

My short list of things to keep out of your writing is anything negative, needy, strange or deal-breaking. A line like "no drama, no games" breaks that rule while trying to sound firm.

A plan beats a wish. "I love to travel" is a wish, and it fits everyone. "I am saving up for two weeks on the coast of Portugal, mostly to eat my way down it" is a plan with a personality attached.

Local plans work just as well. The trail you want to hike before winter, or the restaurant you have walked past for a year and finally booked, tells her about your week. eHarmony itself suggests being specific about the places you want to go, and a named place is the easiest way to do that.

Some questions draw a blank. Do not write "hard to say" and move on.

Pick the first true thing that comes to mind and add one detail. If the question asks for something people would not guess about you, a small real fact does the job. "I play the cello badly in a community orchestra, and we have performed exactly once" is enough. It only needs to be real, and a little funny helps.

Spelling and grammar matter more than men expect. eHarmony advises checking both, and a clean answer tells her you took her seriously.

Then run one test on each answer: could another man on the site have written it? If yes, swap a general word for a specific one. Also cut any sarcasm, because a dry joke loses its tone on a screen and reads as a man who dislikes everything. And leave past relationships out. One plain fact is fine. A paragraph about what went wrong last time is not.

If you have read your answers back and still cannot tell whether they are working, a coach can go through them with you and tighten them. The aim is simple: answers that sound like you on a good day and give a woman something easy to ask about.