Is eHarmony Good for Seniors?

It can be, for an older man who wants something serious and is willing to answer a long quiz honestly. eHarmony describes itself as a site for people who want a meaningful relationship, and that suits a man who knows what he wants at this stage of life. It moves slower than most dating apps. It does not publish an age breakdown of its members, though, so the only way to know whether enough women your age are on it near you is to look.

The site starts with a Compatibility Quiz about your personality, your interests and how you deal with people. Matching begins as soon as you finish it, and every woman you see has sat through the same quiz.

For an older man that is a real advantage. A woman who finished it has told the site what she wants, and she did not do it in a second with her thumb. At sign-up you also say whether you are looking for something casual, serious or not sure, so the intent is out in the open before anyone writes a word.

The pace is slower than a swipe app, which many men over 50 count as a plus. You are reading about people, not flicking through a stack of cards.

eHarmony says its members are millions of relationship-minded singles. It does not tell you how many are in your age range or in your town, and nobody outside the company can give you an honest figure. Any article that states the share of older members is guessing.

So treat the question as local and answer it with your own eyes. Set your age range to the women you would genuinely like to meet, open your Discover list, and count how many you would write to. If the list is thin, widen your distance before you decide the site is empty.

a dating coach's advice for men who are older is simple. Look like the man who is worldly and put together, not the man who just got older. Dress well in your photos, stay in shape, and use recent pictures that show how you look today.

Use one close photo of your face in daylight and one full-length shot. Add one of you doing something you actually do, like cooking, fishing, a trip or a Saturday project. Photos from ten years ago cause trouble on a site that runs a face check against your pictures.

Then write two or three specific sentences for each question. "I love to travel" tells her nothing. "I am saving for two weeks in Portugal and I plan to eat my way through it" gives her a picture and a question to ask.

a dating coach notes that a man's tastes often do not age as fast as he does, so an age gap often comes up. His advice is not to raise it yourself. Let her get to know you first, and let age become a topic after she likes you.

So keep the first message about her, short and easy to answer. Like one specific thing on her page and add a line or two about it. Leave your divorce, your health and your retirement date out of it. There will be time for all three.

Basic membership is free. It covers the quiz, browsing members and the first likes and opening messages. Premium removes the cap on messaging, shows every photo and tells you who viewed your page.

The paid membership is sold in multi-month terms and renews automatically unless you cancel before the term ends. Put the end date in your calendar the day you pay.

coach treats paid features as multipliers. Start free, finish your page and see whether women reply. If chats are starting and you hit the limit, paying makes sense. If nothing starts, the photos and the first lines need work first.

eHarmony is not the only choice. Hinge, Bumble and Tinder are open to every age, and they do not sort by age for you. SilverSingles describes itself as a dating site for singles over 50.

My rule is to test more than one app, because each has its own algorithm and its own mix of people. A man can do badly on one and well on another.

Give eHarmony three real weeks. Take the quiz when you are rested and answer as you are. Write to women soon after you spot them, with one detail from their page. Then count four numbers: likes that became matches, matches that replied, replies that became plans, and plans that became dates.

If the numbers are healthy and plans are rare, suggest a drink sooner. coach moves from first message to a phone number in four to seven messages. A woman who told this site she wants something serious is glad of a clear invitation. If nothing moves after three weeks with good photos, put the time into another app.