Do Most People Use Dating Apps for Hookups?

Nobody can show that most people use dating apps for hookups, and nobody can show the opposite either. People on the apps want a mix of things, and a single person's aim often shifts after a few weeks. The better question for a man is not what the crowd wants. It is how to find out what the one woman in front of him wants.

There is no clean count of intentions. What people say they want on an app is a statement, not a record of what they do, and the same woman may say "something serious" in January and mean "something fun" in March.

Several apps let people state what they are looking for. That helps, but it tells you only what she chose to say when she filled it in. It does not tell you what she will do once she meets someone she likes. A survey asking people the same question would face the same problem, because answers are self-reported and people describe themselves the way they would like to be seen.

So any article that gives you a confident percentage is guessing. Treat it that way.

One piece of evidence worth knowing comes from a survey of about 2,500 Americans. Among women ages 18 to 29, a minority, 39 percent, went on about 80 percent of the first dates reported. They find dates everywhere, and apps were only about 9 percent of their first dates.

The other women went on far fewer dates, and for them apps made up a bigger share, about 23 percent of what they did go on. Most of the women men hook up with also seem to be the ones who date around. That is an observation and not a measured result, and the survey was self-reported, so take it as a hint.

The useful lesson is that the women on an app are not one group. Some date constantly, some date rarely and lean on the app because it is easy, and neither group tells you what a particular woman wants tonight.

a dating coach reviewed a Reddit post from a man who closed a nine-year-old Tinder account after meeting the woman he wanted to keep. Over those years he had swiped a great deal, chatted with a couple of thousand women, gone on about 400 dates, and reported 125 casual encounters. Then he deleted the app for one woman.

My point was about effort, but the story also shows something about intent. The same man, on the same app, had casual encounters and a serious relationship. People on the apps are not sorted into two bins. They are in whatever mode the person in front of them brings out.

The question about when people use apps the most has no reliable answer here. No source we can point to publishes hour-by-hour activity, and busy times vary by city and by app.

What a dating coach does say is that an app responds to use. If you never swipe, message or log in, it assumes you are no longer interested and has little reason to show you to anyone. coach says half an hour of swiping gets him several matches, while a day of leaving his page alone might get him one or none. So the practical answer is to use it regularly, and to notice when your own best chats happen.

Stop trying to guess the average woman and read the one you are talking to.

1. Say what you want in plain words on your page. a dating coach's rule is that a page attracts what it announces, and a vague one tends to draw the casual crowd by default.
2. Read her page before you write. A woman who lists a trip she is planning with friends is telling you something different from one who has only photos.
3. Ask early and lightly. A line like "I'm on here for something real. What about you?" tends to get her own position in the next reply.
4. Count a dodge as an answer. If she skips the question twice, you have your reply.

The crowd on the apps is mixed and always will be. You do not need to know what most people want, only what she does.