Why OkCupid Is Not Working and What to Try

Most OkCupid trouble is one of four things: a sign-in that will not go through, a text code that never arrives, an out-of-date app, or a fault on OkCupid's side. Work through them in that order. If none of them explains it, send OkCupid a bug report that says when the problem began, what browser or phone you use, and whether it happens every time.

OkCupid's help center lists a cause that surprises people. Sign-in trouble can come from many people signing in on one machine. If that could be you, say a shared computer or a busy network, clear the browser cache or reinstall the app and try again.

The second cause is Facebook. Logging in with Facebook is no longer possible on the iOS app. If that was how you always got in on your iPhone, the button will go nowhere. OkCupid points you to three other routes: use an Android device, use the mobile web or desktop site, or ask for a password reset link and set a new password.

Pick the reset link first. It does not depend on Facebook, on which phone you are holding, or on whatever your browser has stored.

OkCupid requires a phone number, and it checks that number with a code sent by text. If the code does not arrive, the help center names the usual reasons:

• The number or the country code was typed wrong.
• The phone is a landline, or a texting service OkCupid does not support.
• The carrier has message blocking turned on.

Go through them in that order. Look at the number as you typed it, including the country code, because a single wrong digit is the most common cause. Then ask whether the number belongs to a real mobile line that receives ordinary texts. If both are fine, contact your carrier and ask whether message blocking is switched on for your line.

Do not keep tapping the resend button. If the number is wrong, a tenth code goes to the same wrong place.

The help center's own advice is to keep OkCupid up to date. A version that has fallen behind can fail in odd ways, such as screens that never load or buttons that do nothing.

On an iPhone you can update the app by hand in the App Store, so you do not need to wait for it to happen on its own. Update, close the app fully, and open it again before you decide it is still broken.

If you have tried all of this and the app still misbehaves, OkCupid asks for a bug report. The quality of the report decides whether it helps.

Give it three facts. Say when the problem started, whether it was after an update, a new phone or nothing in particular. Say what you are using, the browser and its version or the phone and its system. And say whether it happens every time or only sometimes.

"It is broken" gives them nothing to work with. "The app stops loading my chats on an iPhone, and it has happened every time since Tuesday" gives them something to check.

A conversation that has vanished, or a reply that never came, is a different problem from an app that will not load. OkCupid says missing messages can come from a block, from a deleted or banned account, or from a moderation hold. It does not tell you which.

That means you cannot work out the reason from where you sit, and it is not worth losing a night over. Do not send an angry follow-up to the woman, and do not assume she ghosted you. Any of the three causes can look identical from your side. Note which conversations are missing and go back to the ones that are still live.

The worst part of an app that will not work is losing contact with a woman you were enjoying. She does not know you are stuck at a sign-in screen. She only sees you go quiet.

a dating coach's approach to texting is built around getting a woman from the app to her phone number. He says it usually takes about four to seven short texts, each with a purpose, ending with plans. Once a chat is warm and she is clearly enjoying it, ask for a drink and swap numbers. A woman who is already in your phone does not depend on a password reset.

Do three things in the first ten minutes. Answer anyone who wrote while you were locked out, with something light that picks up where you left off, not a paragraph about technical trouble. Check that your photos still look like you. And pick the two or three women worth a plan this week and suggest one.

If OkCupid keeps failing for a long stretch and you cannot get anyone to fix it, give your time to another app until it is sorted. Your evenings are worth more than the waiting.