Why Can You Not See Who Super Liked You on Tinder?

Tinder's answer is to open the app and start swiping. The woman who Super Liked you may not be the first card in your stack, but she will turn up eventually, marked with a bright blue star icon. If you have Tinder Gold or Platinum, you can also look for her in the Likes You grid.

The notification tells you a Super Like happened. It does not move her card to the front of the line.

Tinder says the woman who sent it may not be first in your card stack, but that her card will appear eventually with a bright blue star icon on it. So the fix is simply to keep going through your cards as you normally would until you reach it.

Resist the urge to speed up and like everyone to get there faster. My reading is that the apps pay attention to how selective you are, and that liking everything makes you look unselective. Swipe the way you would on any other evening, and watch for the blue star as you go.

If you subscribe to Tinder Gold or Tinder Platinum, you have a quicker route. Open the Likes You grid, and you can spot the Super Like there instead of waiting for it in your stack.

If you are on a free account, you do not have that grid, and swiping is the way to find her. A single Super Like is not a reason to buy a subscription. If you are weighing one up anyway, judge it on whether it helps across a normal month, not on one notification.

Sometimes you look and look and the blue star never appears. Tinder gives the reason for that too.

Super Likes are sometimes sent by mistake, and they can be undone with Rewind. So a woman can tap the star by accident, notice, and take it back. You got the notification. The Super Like itself is gone. If you have been through a good stretch of your stack and seen no star, that is the likeliest story, and the right response is to let it go.

I am not a fan of sending Super Likes, and the reason is useful when one is sent to you. The sender starts the conversation having announced that the other person is special. They have put her on a pedestal before a word is exchanged.

When a woman Super Likes you, that works in your favor. She has shown more interest than a normal like, so the conversation starts with you in the stronger position. Keep it there.

Just do not mistake it for more than it is. It was a quick tap on a photo, not a promise of a date. Plenty of Super Likes lead nowhere, the same as ordinary likes do.

You also cannot tell from the star alone how much it meant to her. Some women send Super Likes freely, and some save theirs for the one card that really caught them. Let the conversation tell you which kind she is.

The two mistakes here are opposites. One man gushes: "Wow, you Super Liked me, that made my day!" That hands the pedestal straight back to her. The other acts as if she owes him something and skips the effort of a real opener.

Write the same kind of first line you would send anyone you liked. Keep it short and make it about her, using one detail from her photos or her bio. If you want to mention the star, tease her with it lightly and tie it to one of your own photos: "A Super Like before we have even said hello. Bold. Was it the dog or the terrible sunburn?" Then carry on as you would with any conversation that is going well.

Hunting for one blue star is a poor use of an evening when other women are waiting on replies.

Answer the conversations you already have first. Those women have written to you, and some of them are closer to a date than a Super Like is. Then swipe as normal, and you will reach her card along the way.

Keep swiping, and her card will appear with a bright blue star. Gold and Platinum members can check the Likes You grid. If the star never shows, it was probably sent by mistake or undone with Rewind. When you do match, write a normal opener and keep the stronger position she handed you.