What Is Plenty of Fish and How Does It Work?

Plenty of Fish, usually shortened to POF, is an online dating site and app. It has a free search that works at every membership level, a swiping feature called Meet Me, and paid tiers that add extras. You find people by distance from your location, like or message them, and take the conversation toward a date. The rules about who can message first are the part that surprises most new men.

POF is both a website and an app. A free account covers a lot. Search is open to every membership level, including free, so you can look for the women you want without paying.

You need a main profile photo to send messages. That is one of the first things to fix, because a page without one cannot start a conversation.

Search finds people by distance from your location. It also widens its age and distance filters automatically to show you more people, so you may see women just outside what you set. It filters by distance only, not by state or country.

That makes the distance setting the most important choice you make. Pick a distance you would genuinely travel on a weeknight. A wide radius fills the results with women you will never see.

Meet Me is the swiping feature. Swipe right to like someone and left to pass. When you like each other, it becomes a Mutual Match, and a Mutual Match gives you unlimited messaging.

Treat the swipe as the start. A Mutual Match with unlimited messages is worth nothing unread. Message the women you still want to meet the same day, while you are fresh in her mind.

A first message from a stranger is the recipient's choice to answer or like back. If she does not, the sender cannot send follow-up messages.

This changes how you write. You have one message, not a string of them. Skip "hey" and "how are you". Mention one real detail from her page, add a small piece of your own life, and finish with a question she can answer in a line. One good message beats five that go unanswered.

POF Plus, Premium and Prestige are the paid tiers. In general terms they add things like unlimited likes, seeing who is interested in you, and read receipts. Exactly what each includes changes, so check the app before deciding, and do not buy one because of a list of features.

a dating coach's rule for every dating app applies. Paid features multiply the result you already have. Use the free account properly first. If you are matching and getting replies, a paid tier may save time. If nothing is happening, paying will not fix it.

A man who does well on POF repeats a few habits.

• He sets his search filters once, with care, and keeps the distance realistic.
• He likes women in Meet Me whose pages give him something specific to say.
• He is selective. My point is that an app notices a man who likes everyone and treats him as less selective, which hurts who he is shown to.
• He writes one good first message to each match the same day.
• He moves a warm chat toward a day and a place within a few messages.

None of that costs money.

That depends on who is on it in your area, and you can find out in a week. Search for the women you would want to meet. If you see a fair number near you, give it two honest weeks with clear photos and a page that says something specific.

Count your likes, your matches, your replies and your dates. If the early numbers are weak, change one thing, usually the lead photo, and count again. POF is a tool for starting conversations with women near you. What turns those into dates is how you write and how soon you suggest meeting.