What Is a Good Compatibility Score on eHarmony?

eHarmony gives you a Compatibility Score with every member, and it runs from 60 to 140. The score comes from your similarities, your contrasts, and your answers to the Compatibility Quiz. eHarmony calls 100 a good starting point and anything over 100 above average. Under 100 is less promising, but eHarmony still says it is worth a look if someone sparks your curiosity.

Think of 100 as the middle of the range. Anything above it means eHarmony sees more in common between the two of you than usual. Anything below it means it sees less.

So a good score, in eHarmony's own terms, is 100 or higher. A woman at 118 is a stronger fit on paper than a woman at 102. A woman at 94 is a weaker fit on paper, and that is all the number says.

The words "on paper" matter. The score is a comparison of answers, and the rest of this article is about what that comparison can and cannot do for you.

eHarmony builds the score from three things.

The first is your similarities, the places where you and she want and value the same things. The second is your contrasts, the places where you differ. Two people do not need to be identical to get along, and the score takes the differences into account as well as the overlap. The third is how each of you answered the Compatibility Quiz.

What you get at the end is one number that sums up how your answers sit next to hers.

The score cannot tell you whether you will be drawn to her. It has no idea whether she laughs at your jokes, whether you like the sound of her voice, or whether the two of you will still be talking when the bar starts stacking chairs.

Those things decide most first dates. A woman can match your values perfectly and still leave you cold across a table. Another who scores a little lower can turn out to be the best evening you have had in months.

So treat the score as a starting point, which is exactly how eHarmony describes it. It tells you where to look. It does not tell you who to fall for.

The practical use of the score is sorting. When your time is limited, start with the women above 100 who you also find attractive. That combination gives you shared ground and real interest, which is the best starting position you can have.

Do not ignore a woman in the 90s who catches your eye. eHarmony itself says someone under 100 is still worth a look if they spark your curiosity, and curiosity is the whole reason people go on first dates. Read her page. Often the differences the score picked up are about things you do not care about, while the things you do care about line up fine.

And do not write to a woman at 130 you feel nothing for just because the number is high. A high score with no attraction is a polite conversation that goes nowhere.

The score can only be as honest as the answers behind it. If you fill in the Compatibility Quiz the way you think women want you to, eHarmony starts pairing you with women who would suit a man you are not.

Answer as yourself, including the answers that might cost you a few women. The ones you lose that way were never going to work. The ones you keep are now scored against the real you, which makes every number on your screen more useful.

This is the same advice that works everywhere online. Men who stop trying to be acceptable to everyone and say what they actually think stand out more, and they end up talking to women who like them for real reasons.

A high score means you share a lot, and that shared ground is useful when you write to her. Look at what her page says about how she lives, and pick one specific thing to comment on.

Keep it light. A shared value is a good reason to talk, but it is a heavy way to open. "I also want a family someday" is true and dull as a first line. A short, playful comment about one detail on her page, followed by an easy question, gives her something to answer and a sense of who you are.

Once she replies, move toward a plan. Mention a drink early, as a light idea rather than a request, so that asking for her number a few messages later feels natural. The score got you to the right woman. Only a date will tell you whether the score was right.