Is Match.com Worth It for Men?

Match.com is worth paying for as a second site, not as your main one. Its strength is that you can search for women and write to one without waiting for her to swipe on you first. Its weakness is size: a dating coach says it used to be the biggest app and now holds a smaller share of the women most men want to meet. Start on the free version, which already lets you chat with every match, and pay only if the first weeks give you something to multiply.

On Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, a woman has to like you before you can talk. Match lets a paying member search and write to a woman directly. coach calls this one of its real advantages. You do not need her approval first, so your message can land in her inbox even if she would never have swiped on you.

That matters in one situation in particular. The swipe apps filter people out before they meet. A woman who sets her age range or her height preference never sees you, even if she would have liked you in person. Search gets around that, because you choose who to write to and the software does not choose for you. My example is a man who would charm a younger woman in the street and never gets shown to her on an app.

The honest cost is volume. coach says plainly that Match cannot be your primary site because it does not have the number of attractive women it once did. The swipe apps in most areas give you more people to meet for the same effort.

Reputation and size describe the average member, and tell you very little about the woman you write to. A smaller pool also means you will run out of new names sooner. If you live in a big city, check how many women your search returns before you pay for anything.

Free members can chat with every match, rate a daily set of recommended people and browse curated members. Match does not require you to pay to find out whether women reply to you.

That is a natural trial. Give the free version a week, and note how many women you rate favorably, how many reply and how many want to meet. If the free version gives you replies, a paid tier may speed things up. If it gives you nothing, paying does not change what a woman sees when she opens your page.

Match sells Bronze, Silver, Platinum and Diamond, each adding to the one below. In general terms, the extras are unlimited search and filters, seeing who likes you, read receipts and boosts. What each tier includes changes, so read the screen on the day you buy rather than a list in an article.

My rule for every paid feature is to test it and drop it if nothing moves. He is not against paying. He says men are far too reluctant to spend on dating, and that apps look after paying members. His point is that a subscription is a multiplier. It multiplies a good page and a good message. It does not rescue a weak one.

Watch the renewal. A plan can renew on its own, so set a reminder on the day you buy and cancel before the date if you have decided to stop.

Match suits a man who already does reasonably well on a swipe app and wants more control over whom he reaches. It suits a man who is shut out by age or preference filters on the swipe apps. And it suits a man who would rather write one good message to a woman he picked than wait for the software to hand him someone.

It does not suit a man hoping to get matches without effort. Search gives you reach, and a woman still has to want to answer.

A message to a stranger has one job: to be worth opening. My point about messages is that women ignore far more men than they answer, so a message has to get her attention. A "hi" gets none.

Use one real detail from her page, and say something a little playful or surprising about it. Add a small piece of your own life, and finish with a question she can answer in a line. Send one message, not three. If she answers, keep the exchange short and move toward a plan within a few texts. My range is about four to seven.

Use Match as a supplement. Put your main effort into the app that gives you the most conversations in your area, and run Match beside it with the same best photos. Track which one produces dates. If Match earns its place, keep paying. If it does not, cancel it and spend the money on better photos, because photos decide how every one of these sites works for you.