How to Get a Woman's Number at Barnes and Noble

To get a girl's number at Barnes and Noble, talk to her long enough that you both enjoy it, then say it was good talking and you should do it again, and take her number as the natural next step. A number from a few fun minutes about books is worth far more than one you grabbed in the first ten seconds. If she has time, skip the number and invite her for a coffee in the store's cafe instead.

You want her browsing and in no rush. The new releases tables, the fiction shelves and the magazine racks are full of people wandering and picking things up. The cafe line is another good spot, because everyone waits a few minutes with nothing to do.

Open on the book in her hand or the section she is in, at a normal speaking volume for the room. "Is that one actually good, or did the cover do all the selling?" A plain, honest question about a book is about as natural as an opener gets.

Leave her alone if she is working at a cafe table with headphones in, or if she is with someone.

a dating coach is blunt about this: "A phone number by itself is useless." A number backed by a good conversation, one that leaves her thinking well of you, is what gets a reply later. A number taken from a woman who barely knows your name tends to go quiet.

coach says he never walks into a conversation aiming for a number. He goes in to find out who she is and whether they click. The number comes when there is no chance to keep hanging out right then.

So spend the first few minutes making the conversation fun. In a role-play in My mentorship Q&A set in a Barnes and Noble, the student's opener was good, but he asked one question after another and the talk felt flat. The fix was more reacting and teasing. If she says she reads biographies, guess which kind and tease her about it. If she is holding a romance novel, ask her to defend it.

Before you ask, make sure it has become personal. Tell her your name, ask hers, and be open about the fact that you came over because you liked the look of her.

Avoid "Can I have your number?" My problem with that wording is that it invites a yes or a no and sounds a little like begging.

His favorite is a two-step version. First you agree you should see each other again: "It was good talking to you. We should do it again sometime." She usually says something like "Sounds good." Then: "Cool, so I guess I should take your number then." By the time you mention the number, you have both already agreed to meet, so handing it over is easy.

Said calmly, it feels like the obvious next step, because it is.

Once you have her number, send her a text right there so she has yours. coach prefers this to giving her your number and waiting, because women are less likely to message first.

Then do not bolt. coach calls taking a number and dashing off the "Number Bandit" method. It tells her the whole chat was about getting something. Stay for another twenty or thirty seconds, finish the conversation properly, then say you have to run and you will text her.

If you also swap social media, do it after the number, and only if your page is actually worth seeing.

Many Barnes and Noble stores have a cafe. If she is browsing with no plan, invite her for a coffee right then instead of asking for her number. The student in that role-play had the right instinct when he suggested going downstairs to the cafe together.

Keep it light and specific: "I'm getting a coffee downstairs. Come with me for ten minutes and tell me why that book is better than this one." A short coffee that day beats a number you have to turn into a date later. Take the number at the end of the coffee.

Send something that day that only makes sense to the two of you. A reference to the book she defended, or the section where you met. Keep it short and playful, then suggest a specific time to meet within the next few days. The longer you wait, the more the bookstore fades from memory.

Plenty of men can follow the steps above and still walk past her in the aisle. That gap is what the Cold Approach Bootcamp is for. It is in person, in the field, with live approaches during the day on streets and in cafes and at night in bars and lounges. You get live coaching on every approach, including the moment you ask for the number, and feedback after every set.

It is held in Miami and New York. Group is three straight days at three students per coach. Private is one coach and you, for one, two or three days, and longer bookings are quoted on request. Each day has two four-hour blocks in the field, there is no skill floor, and you leave with a short written practice plan.