How to Talk to Women on a Cruise

Talk to girls on a cruise about the trip you are both on. The ports, the food, last night's show and the reason she booked the cruise all make easy openers, and each one leads somewhere. Start with a quick comment about the moment, add one thing about yourself, then ask about her trip. Because you will see her again, you do not have to cram everything into one chat. A short, friendly first conversation that you carry on the next day works better than a long one that runs out of steam.

The best opener on a cruise is whatever is happening around both of you. A few that work in the usual spots:

• At the rail during sail away. "Every time the horn goes off, the whole deck jumps. Is this your first time on one of these?"
• At the pool bar. "I've been staring at this drinks menu for five minutes. What did you get, and is it worth it?"
• In the buffet line. "Be honest. Is the pasta station worth the wait, or should I go straight to dessert?"
• After the evening show. "So what did you think? I can't decide if the magician was great or terrible."
• In the elevator. "Which deck has the good coffee? I've been lost since we left port."

None of these are clever, and they do not need to be. They show you are friendly and give her an easy answer. What you say next matters more.

Ask her what the occasion is. Plenty of women on a cruise are there for a reason. It might be a birthday, a bachelorette party, a girls' trip planned for a year or a family reunion. It might be a celebration after a breakup or a promotion.

That one answer is a whole conversation. You learn who she is with, what kind of week she wants and how much she is up for meeting people. A bachelorette group wants fun and a story to tell. A woman on a quiet trip with her sister may want a good conversation at the bar more than a loud night.

Travel is the richest topic you have. Ask about the best trip she has ever taken, the strangest place she has been, or the port she is most excited about this week. a dating coach notes that women who have traveled alone often did things on the road they would not do at home. Stories about those trips tend to make a conversation warmer and more playful.

Share your own stories, briefly. One good story about getting lost in a city beats five lines of your itinerary. Skip the parts nobody enjoys: which cabin class you booked, what the trip cost, and complaints about the ship.

Women on cruises often travel in groups, and the group decides how welcome you are. Talk to all of them first. Learn a couple of names and be fun with the whole table before you give her most of your attention.

If it is a bachelorette party, be nice to the bride and the friend who planned the trip. If she is with her mother, be polite and a little charming with her mother too. Mothers on cruises have been known to push their daughters toward the nice guy from the pool.

The first chat is short. The second is where you build on it, and on a ship it comes naturally because you keep crossing paths.

Open with something she told you. "How was the zip line?" "Did your friend ever get her birthday cake?" Small callbacks show you were listening, which most men on board were not. Then suggest something simple for later that day, like the late show or the deck at sunset, and say exactly where you will be.

The nightclub and the pool party are too loud for real talk. Use short sentences, lean in a little, and if it is going well, suggest stepping outside to the deck where you can hear each other.

A few things land badly anywhere and worse on a ship. Asking for her cabin number early. Leading with whether she is single. Commenting on her body because she is in a swimsuit. Bragging about how many drinks your package covers. Leave those out and you are already ahead of most men on board.

Knowing what to say is half of it. The other half is saying it out loud to a stranger without overthinking it first, and that part only improves with reps. Cold Approach's Bootcamp gives you those reps in Miami and New York, approaching women in real bars and on real streets while a coach watches and tells you what to try next. A Group Bootcamp is three consecutive days with up to three students per coach. A Private Bootcamp is 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. Beginners are welcome, and men whose mind goes blank halfway through a hello are who the coaches specialize in.