How to Delete a Conversation on Plenty of Fish

In the app, open your inbox and swipe left on the conversation you want gone. On the website, open the conversation, click the three dots, and choose Delete Conversation. You cannot delete single messages, only the whole conversation, and deleting it is permanent. If she writes to you again later, you will only see the new messages.

On your phone, go to your inbox and find the conversation. Swipe left on it to delete it.

On a computer, open the conversation first. Click the three dots and choose Delete Conversation.

Either way, the whole conversation goes at once. There is no way to pick out one message you regret and remove just that one.

Deleting clears the conversation from your inbox for good. There is no undo, so if it holds anything you need, such as her number, the name of the bar you agreed on, or the time you set, copy it somewhere else first.

Deleting does not stop her from writing to you. If she sends you a message later, it will show up, but only the new messages will be there. None of what the two of you said before comes back. That can make an old conversation awkward to pick up, because you will be answering her without the history in front of you.

An inbox full of dead conversations makes it harder to see the ones that matter.

Clearing out chats that have clearly finished is reasonable housekeeping. Think of the women who stopped answering weeks ago, the conversations that never got past "hey", and the ones where you both lost interest. None of them are going anywhere, and removing them leaves the live ones easy to find.

The apps work best when most of your attention goes to the women who are actually answering you. A tidy inbox helps with that. It is also a small relief not to be reminded every evening of a dozen conversations that went nowhere. Match with new women, talk to the ones who reply, and let the rest go without a second thought.

Do not delete a conversation just because she has not answered for a day or two. People get busy. A woman who went quiet over a busy week sometimes comes back, and when she does you will want to see what you were talking about.

If she does come back after a few quiet days, answer her as if nothing happened. Skip the "long time no hear" and any hint that you noticed the gap. Pick up the last thing you were talking about, or ask how her week went. A man who makes a pause feel normal is far easier to keep talking to than one who makes her explain herself.

Do not delete in the middle of an argument either. Close the app, cool off, and look at it the next day. You can always delete it then, but you cannot bring it back.

And never send a parting shot before you delete. A rude last message is exactly the kind of thing women report, and a man who gets reported ends up shown to fewer women on the app. If a conversation is over, just let it be over.

Some conversations are not dead, just drifting. You have gone back and forth for a week, it has been friendly, and nobody has suggested meeting.

Before you give up on one of those, try once to turn it into a plan. Chatting on the apps exists to get you to a date, not to become a pen pal. Suggest something simple, such as a coffee or a drink, with a day and a place: "I'm enjoying this, but I'd rather hear the rest over a drink. Are you free Thursday evening?"

If she says yes, you have a date. If she dodges or does not answer, you have your answer, and deleting the conversation is an easy decision.

There is a middle answer too. If she says she cannot make Thursday but offers another day, that is a yes, so take her day and set a time. If she says she is busy and offers nothing else, try once more later in the week at most. Two dodges in a row tell you everything you need to know.

Deleting is a small tool, and it is best used quietly. Clear what is finished, keep what is live, and spend your evenings on the conversations that are going somewhere.

A man with five good conversations he answers well will get more dates than a man with forty he half follows. The delete button just helps you see which five those are.