Can't Log In to Plenty of Fish? What to Try

Start with a password reset. Request a reset link at pof.com/getpassword, and if the app still will not let you in, try logging in on a desktop computer first. If your phone number has changed, tap Update your Number at the verification step. And if you are away from home, POF says you cannot log in and use your account in a different city or country while you are traveling, so the trip may be the whole reason.

A forgotten or mistyped password is the simplest explanation, so rule it out before you try anything else.

Go to pof.com/getpassword, request a reset link, and follow it to set a new password. Pick one you will actually remember, or save it in your phone's password manager. A second lockout next month is a waste of an evening.

Then log in with the new password on the same device that refused you. If it works, you are done. If it does not, the password was never the problem, and you move on.

POF's advice for when the app will not let you in is to log in on a desktop computer first.

That one test tells you a lot. If the website lets you in, your email and password are fine, and the trouble is with the app or the phone it is running on. If the website refuses you too, the problem is with the login itself, and the steps below are where to look.

When the desktop works and the app still does not, update the app and try again. Deleting it and installing it fresh is a reasonable last try before you write to anyone.

A new phone number is easy to forget about until an app asks you to verify.

If you have changed numbers since you set up the account, the verification step is where that catches up with you. POF gives you a way through it: tap Update your Number at that step, rather than trying to get past it with the old one.

Do it the moment you notice. Every day you spend fighting an old number is a day the women who wrote to you are sitting unanswered.

POF notes that you cannot log in and use your account in a different city or country while you are traveling.

So if the trouble started on a work trip or a holiday, the trip may explain all of it, and no password reset will change that. Try again once you are back where you normally use the app.

This is worth planning around before you leave. If you are talking to a woman you like and a trip is coming up, that is the time to move the conversation somewhere that does not depend on the app, which is the next section.

From her side of the screen, a lockout is invisible. She sends a message, hears nothing for three days, and draws the obvious conclusion.

a dating coach has a habit that covers you here. When a woman is plainly enjoying the conversation, he suggests a drink and asks for her number or WhatsApp, because settling on a time and a place is simpler outside the app.

That habit pays off twice during a lockout. Anyone you have already swapped numbers with can still hear from you, so the dates you had lined up go ahead. The only thing the lockout costs you is a few days of new likes.

Once you are in again, pick up where you left off. Do not try to make up for the lost days in one long night.

My view is that small, steady sessions on the apps return more than big bursts. A long catch-up evening tends to produce a pile of conversations that all need you at once, and several dates you cannot fit into the same week. A little every day spreads them out, so each one gets proper attention.

So reply first to whoever wrote to you during the lockout, then settle back into your normal short sessions.

If the reset, the desktop and the number update all fail, contact POF through its help center and explain what is happening.

Keep that first message short and specific. Say what you see when you try to log in, whether it fails on the app, the website or both, and what you have already tried. Include the email address on the account, so nobody has to ask you for it. The clearer the first message, the fewer replies it takes to get sorted.

And be careful with anyone who offers to fix it for you. POF does not offer phone support, so a stranger who calls or messages you promising to restore your account, especially for a fee, is not somebody to trust with your login.