How to Approach a Foreign or Traveling Woman

Approach her the way you would approach any woman, with a calm hello and a simple, friendly line. Then adjust for three things. She may not know the area, her English may be limited, and she may only be in town for a few days. Use a local's question or an easy observation as the opener, speak clearly, and move toward a short plan quickly, because time is the one thing she has less of than other women.

A woman on a trip is in a different mood from the same woman at home. She is out exploring, not rushing to a routine. She has free time, she is curious, and she is often glad to talk to a friendly local who can tell her where to eat.

a dating coach points out that women out enjoying themselves with nowhere to rush to are far easier to meet than women hurrying between appointments. A traveler fits that description almost perfectly. She is also usually looking at the same things you are, which gives you something real to talk about.

Look where travelers actually go, and where they pause.

• Cafes, bookstores and parks near popular areas.
• Museums, galleries, markets and public squares.
• Rooftops, lounges and bars in busy neighborhoods.
• Walkways and streets with scenery where people stop for photos.

Someone stopping to look at a map or take a picture is giving you an opening. She is not in a hurry, and she may be happy for a recommendation. A woman walking with a rolling suitcase or a tour group is a different story, so check whether she is free before you start.

The easiest openers for a traveler are the ones that come from her situation.

• "Are you finding what you were looking for? I can point you toward a good place if you want."
• "I noticed you taking pictures. The view is better from the other side, if you want to see it."
• "Where are you visiting from? How is the trip so far?"

All of them are friendly and easy to answer. They do not require a long story or fast English. If you are speaking with someone who is not a native speaker, slow down, keep sentences short, and skip slang and jokes that rely on wordplay.

A language gap is normal, and it can even add warmth. Do not talk louder or repeat the same words faster. Use simple words, a smile, and gestures when they help.

Be patient and curious. Ask her how to say a word in her language, or tell her one in yours. Showing that you enjoy the effort makes the interaction friendly instead of awkward. If the gap is too wide for a conversation, say a warm goodbye and move on without making her feel she failed.

A woman who is in town for a few days cannot wait for a slow build. If the conversation is going well, suggest something short and specific, like a coffee nearby or a walk to a place you recommended. The idea of an immediate date fits a traveler well, because she may have no other chance.

Keep the plan light and public. Let her decide and do not push if she wants to keep her plans. If she cannot do it today, take her Instagram or number and name a day while she is still in the city.

A woman far from home is, quite reasonably, more careful with strangers. Make yourself easy to trust.

• Suggest public places only.
• Do not ask where she is staying.
• Do not exaggerate your life or your intentions.
• Accept a no at once and without comment.

If you only want a pleasant evening, you can say so in a relaxed way. If you are open to more, let that unfold naturally. A man who is clear and respectful is the one she tells her friends about. Remember too that customs differ. A friendly touch or a direct compliment that is normal at home may feel forward to her, so keep your body language open and your distance polite until she shows she is comfortable.

The hardest part is not the words. It is walking up to a stranger with an accent and a suitcase and keeping your nerves from running the conversation.

That is practiced in the field at a Cold Approach Bootcamp in Miami and New York, with a coach beside you and feedback after every set. The first of the four parts on every training day is approaching and conversation. That means getting through the hesitation before you walk over, the first thirty seconds, and keeping things going without turning it into an interview.