You pick a woman from your Facebook friends, or from their friends, and add her as a crush inside Dating. The name men search for suggests a secret, but it is not one on her end. Facebook says the person you add can see that you liked them, so a crush works like a like with your name on it, sent to someone who already knows who you are.

How to send a crush

Open the Facebook app, tap Menu, then tap Dating. Tap Crush at the bottom of the screen.

You then have two ways to find her. Tap Search and type the name of a Facebook friend, or scroll the suggestions under Explore your friend network, which is where friends of your friends show up. When you find her, tap Send crush.

That is the whole process. The feature works with two groups of people: the ones you are friends with on Facebook, and the people they are friends with.

What she sees when you send one

Facebook's help page is plain about this. When you add someone as a crush, they can see that you liked them, and your Dating profile appears in their Liked You tab.

So drop the idea that a crush is a wish you make in private. It is closer to raising your hand in a room where she can see your face, knows your name, and may share a few friends with you.

That changes how you should use it. A like on a stranger costs nothing if she passes. A crush on your college roommate's coworker is a small social act, and it can come up the next time you are both at the same birthday dinner.

Why your photos have to match the man she met

A woman looking at a stranger has only the photos to go on. A woman who gets a crush from someone she has met has a memory of you to check them against.

That cuts both ways. If you are fun in person and your photos are flat, she has the better version of you in her head, and she may give you the benefit of the doubt. If your photos show a man who looks nothing like the guy she talked to at a barbecue, the gap jumps out in a way it never does with a stranger.

Candid photos that look like your real week hold up well here. A rented sports car or a shirtless mirror shot is a risk with anyone. It is a bigger risk with a woman who can ask a mutual friend what you are actually like.

When a crush is worth sending

The best case is a woman you have actually spent time with, where the interest looked real on both sides. She kept the conversation going, asked you questions back, and was in no hurry to leave. One polite smile does not count.

A friend of a friend you met once and liked is also fair game. You have a real point of connection, and a crush is a quiet way to find out whether she noticed you too.

Think twice before sending one where a bad outcome would cost you something. That means a coworker, a woman inside your close group of friends, or your friend's ex. The friend network is exactly what makes those crushes risky, because the awkwardness does not stay inside the app.

When to skip the feature and ask her out

If you already have her number and she answers your texts, a crush is a step backwards. You would be using an app to say something you could say yourself in one line.

"You were the best part of Sam's party. Want to get a drink Thursday?" does more than any feature. It also shows her something women respond to: a man who says what he wants without hiding behind a button.

A crush earns its place when a direct ask is not on the table yet. The classic case is a woman you met once and never swapped numbers with.

If she answers, the first message still matters

If she responds and the two of you start talking in Dating, do not make the crush the topic. She knows you sent it. Bringing it up only adds pressure.

Open with the thing you actually share: the party where you met, the friend who introduced you, the trip she was telling everyone about. Keep it light and trade a few easy lines. Then suggest a specific plan while she is still enjoying the chat. Long conversations with someone you half know tend to drift into small talk that never turns into a date.

If nothing comes back

Leave it alone. Do not send another one, do not ask your mutual friend what she said, and do not act strange the next time you see her. Treat her exactly the way you did before.

Handled like that, a crush with no answer costs you almost nothing. She will remember you as the guy who took his shot calmly and moved on, and inside a shared group of friends, that reputation is worth more than any single crush.