Does Facebook Dating Work for Men?

It can, for a man who treats it as one of several dating apps and does the basics well. Facebook publishes no success rate for men, so anyone quoting one is guessing. What you can know is how the app works, what it rewards, and how to test it yourself in two weeks. Matches here come from the same three things as everywhere else: the photos, the first message and the plan.

Facebook Dating gives you a separate profile inside the Facebook app. Your Facebook friends cannot see it, and nothing you do there appears in your Feed. It builds your suggestions from three things. One is the preferences you set. Another is the details you add, such as age, height and education. The last is what you do on Facebook, like shared Groups and Events, your hometown and the schools you list.

It also suggests friends of friends unless you switch that off, and it has a feature called Secret Crush, where you add someone from your Facebook friends or their friends. She can see that you liked her, so it is a like with your name on it.

Shared context is the real advantage. A woman who is in the same running group, or went to the same school, is easier to open with than a stranger. You get a built-in first line without having to invent one.

A mutual friend can also tell you who she is, and tell her who you are, which almost never happens with a stranger from another app.

The cost is reputation. Friends of friends are part of the pool, so some women there will have heard your name. A man who treats women badly there is a man whose behavior can travel. If you are decent, that helps you, and it is one more reason to be kind and quick about taking a no.

Before a match, you can send one message to someone Facebook suggests, by tapping a photo and writing it. After that you cannot write again until she replies or likes you back. So you get one shot.

That is good discipline. Pick one specific thing in her photos, write a line or two about it, and end on something she can answer without effort. A long, earnest paragraph or a stack of follow-ups is the opposite of what works. a dating coach's approach to openers is the same on any app: short, specific, and built on something unusual in her profile.

You can add up to 12 photos and prompts, and one of them must show your face clearly. Facebook may also ask you to verify with a video selfie that matches a photo on your profile.

Do not reuse your Facebook photos. Those were chosen for cousins and old teammates and are full of group shots and a wedding from years ago. Build the Dating set for her. Start with a close shot of your face, add a full-length one, then something you do and a group. Fill in the details honestly, since they feed who you are shown. Turn on the strong preference switch only for real dealbreakers, because every strong preference shrinks the pool, and a filter you would waive for the right woman is better left soft.

a dating coach's rule for every site is to test it and let the results decide. Give Facebook Dating two weeks with a proper set of photos and write down four numbers: people you liked, conversations that started, numbers you got and dates you set.

Read the numbers by stage. If almost nobody answers, look at your photos and your first line. If conversations start but stall, you are asking too many questions or waiting too long to suggest a drink. If you get dates but no second ones, the app is not the problem at all.

It suits a man who wants another place to be seen, has a few real interests he can name, and is comfortable that mutual friends might notice. It suits a man who will message carefully and suggest a plan quickly.

It does not suit a man hoping the app will do the work. Run it beside one other app, not in place of all of them, so that a quiet month on either one does not become your whole dating life. If after two weeks the numbers are flat and your photos are strong, drop it and spend the time elsewhere.