Raya handles location with two separate choices. On your phone, you decide whether Raya can use your location at all times, only while you are using the app, or not at all. Inside Raya, you may be asked whether to display your specific location to other members, and that part is optional: you can turn it on or off at any time in the app's settings.

The two switches

It helps to treat these as two controls, because they do two different jobs.

The first is the permission your phone gives Raya. Raya's privacy policy lists the three levels: at all times, only while you use the app, or never. This decides whether Raya can know where you are at all.

The second is what other members see. You may be asked whether to show them your specific location. Raya says that is not required, and the setting can be switched either way whenever you like.

So a man can let Raya use his location while showing members nothing specific, or he can cut the app off from his location entirely. Most men who search for how to turn location off only want the second switch.

Always, while using, or never

Each level of phone access trades a little convenience for a little privacy.

"While using the app" is the middle ground most people pick for most apps. Raya knows where you are when it is open and not otherwise.

"At all times" lets the app use your location even when you are not looking at it. Unless something you actually rely on needs that, there is little reason to allow it.

"Never" is the full stop. Any part of an app that shows you people nearby depends on knowing where you are, so switching location off completely gives that up.

The terms describe social mode and location services as easy to flip on and off, so none of this locks you in. You can change a setting the day you travel and change it back the day you land.

Why some men keep it private

There are ordinary reasons to hide your specific location, and none of them is paranoia.

You may be known in your city through your work or your name, and prefer that strangers not see which neighborhood you are in. You may live somewhere small, where a specific location points close to your front door. You may have an ex, a colleague or a client on the app. Or you may simply want the first thing a woman learns about you to be something other than where you sleep.

a dating coach counts discretion among the quiet advantages of dating through the apps. The women you meet there usually have no link to each other or to the rest of your life. Keeping your exact spot hidden protects that.

When showing it is worth it

Showing your location earns its place when being nearby is the whole point.

In a new city for a few days, members knowing you are around makes a quick plan realistic. A conversation started on Monday can become a drink on Wednesday while you are still in town. At home, a rough sense that you are in the same part of the city can make a weeknight plan easier.

Turn it on for the stretch where it helps. Turn it off again when it stops helping. The switch is there to be used, and nobody is keeping score of how often you flip it.

Talking about location with your matches

Whatever your settings show, location is something to bring up in conversation only when it has a purpose.

Do not ask a woman where she lives in your first few messages, and never ask her to share her location with you. "Which part of town are you in?" is fine once you are actually planning a date, because by then the question has a reason behind it.

When you do plan, a dating coach's rule for dates from the apps is to choose a spot near where you live. An easy evening close to home tends to go further than an impressive one across town. You can do that without giving out an address. Name the bar two streets from your place, not the street you live on.

Keeping your address off dating apps

The last setting is the one you keep in your head.

Share your exact address only when a woman is actually coming over, and never ask for hers before she offers it. Meet somewhere public for a first date. Tell a friend where you will be. None of this is special to Raya, but a private, members-only app can make men relax their guard.

Your phone settings cover half of your privacy. The other half is what you type, and that part has no toggle.