What Other Members See on Your Raya Profile

Other Raya members see the photos you upload, your first name, your age, the city you live in, your hometown and your biography. Raya's privacy policy says they also see your Instagram username and the things you have in common, such as Instagram accounts you both follow. The Instagram details Raya shows never go beyond what is already visible on your Instagram profile itself.

That is the whole of it, and it is shorter than most men expect. There is no long questionnaire on show and no list of your preferences.

Short does not mean light, though. Read the list the way a stranger would. It tells her what you look like, roughly where you are in life, where you live and where you come from. It also tells her where to go if she wants to know more, and that last part is the one men think about least.

Once a woman has your username, she can look you up on Instagram itself. Raya says the Instagram information it shows will not exceed what is otherwise accessible on your Instagram profile. So the app is not handing over anything secret. It is pointing her at whatever your account already shows the world.

That puts the privacy settings that really count on Instagram, not on Raya. If your account is public, assume she will scroll it.

a dating coach's habit when he matches with a woman is to scroll through her page looking for anything unusual he can comment on. She is doing the same thing with yours. She will find the photo you forgot about from three summers ago as easily as the ones you picked with care.

Put the pieces together and they identify you. A first name, an age, a city, a hometown, a face and an Instagram username are enough for almost anyone to work out exactly who you are.

For most men that is fine, and even useful. Being a real, findable person is part of why a woman on a private app feels comfortable liking you. It is worth a minute of thought only if you have a specific reason for discretion, such as a job where you would rather your dating life stayed out of view.

Raya's terms also cut both ways here. They prohibit taking screenshots, sharing content from the app and disclosing the identity of any user. Nobody on Raya is allowed to pass your details around, and you are not allowed to pass around theirs.

The things-in-common item works quietly. Raya shows a woman the Instagram accounts you both follow. That means a slice of your follow list is in front of her before either of you has written a word.

That slice can help you or say nothing at all. Shared follows of a climbing gym, a neighborhood restaurant or a band she loves give both of you an easy first line. Shared follows of three celebrity accounts give neither of you anything to work with.

You cannot choose what she follows. But following the things you actually care about makes it more likely that the overlap says something true about you.

Because she sees several details at once, she notices when they do not fit together.

An age that does not match your photos is the most common problem. Pictures from five years ago next to your real age make you look like you are hiding something, even when nothing on the page is false. A city that none of your photos seem to be taken in raises a smaller question.

Your hometown, on the other hand, is a gift. "How did you end up here from there?" is one of the easiest questions she can ask. Make sure your photos and your bio give that answer some substance.

With so much else on the page, the photos and the bio are the parts you control most directly.

Your photos are the first thing she judges, and she will quietly compare them with your Instagram. Keep them recent, clearly you, and taken in the life you actually live. The bio has one job the other details cannot do. It says what you spend your days on and gives her something easy to answer. Two or three short lines are plenty.

Open your Instagram in a browser where you are not logged in, or ask a friend to open it, and scroll the way a stranger would. Look at the photos other people have tagged you in, not only your own posts. Check that the name on your Instagram account is one you are happy for her to see.

Then check the city and hometown on your Raya profile, and put your first photo next to your age. Ask whether a stranger would believe they belong to the same man.

If all of it reads like you on a good day, your profile is showing other members exactly what it should.