How Does Online Speed Dating Work?

Online speed dating is a timed video event. Instead of swiping and messaging on a dating app, you sign up for a session, join at the set time, and meet a series of people one at a time for a few minutes each. When the session ends, you say who you would like to see again, and contact details are shared only where the interest is mutual. The details differ between organizers, but nearly every version follows that shape.

A session has a start time, a group of attendees and a timer. When it begins, the system puts you in a video call with one person. When the timer runs out, you are moved to the next, and this repeats until you have met everyone in your group or the session ends.

Afterward you mark the people you liked. If two people pick each other, the organizer connects them, usually by sharing a way to message or by opening a chat. If only one of you picks the other, nothing is shared, which spares both of you an awkward no.

Check the organizer's own rules before you sign up. Round length, group size, and what happens after the session are decided by whoever runs the event, and they change.

Some are run by dating sites and apps, as a feature inside the service. Others are run by independent companies, clubs or interest groups that sell tickets to a session. Some are open to anyone, and others are limited to an age range or a shared interest.

That difference matters more than the format. A session for people in their thirties who like hiking has a different crowd from an open one. The narrower the group, the more likely you are to have something to talk about in the first minute.

The first thing most men notice is the speed. You have only a few minutes, so there is no space for warming up with small talk. You are on camera, she is on camera, and the clock is running.

That is also what makes it useful. In a few minutes you hear her voice, see how she carries herself, and learn whether the two of you laugh at the same things. A chat window cannot tell you any of that in a week.

a dating coach has noted that speed dating is making a comeback, alongside running clubs and board game groups, as people look for ways to meet in person or face to face, not only through an app. The appeal is the same: it puts you in front of a real person.

It is worth trying once, for the right reasons.

Reasons to join: it puts a face and a voice on the other person immediately, there is no ghosting inside the session, and it filters out accounts that are not real. You also practice talking to women you have never met, which is the skill that every other part of dating depends on.

Reasons for caution: the mix of attendees is not in your control, and some events have more men than women. You get a few minutes with each person, so a man who is quiet at first will get little out of it. And organizers vary in quality, so read what past attendees say, if anything is available, before you pay.

• Set up the camera first. Face a window or a lamp, keep the camera at eye level, and check the sound. A bad picture costs you the first thirty seconds.
• Have two or three things ready to say about yourself that are specific and easy to react to. A dull answer to "what do you do" wastes a quarter of your time.
• Make statements and share opinions, not a string of questions. Her time is as short as yours, and a conversation made of questions sounds like an interview.
• Tease her a little and smile. A few minutes is enough to show that you are fun to be around.
• Take a quick note after each round, even a word or two, so you remember who was who when it is time to choose.
• Say yes to everyone you would be happy to meet for coffee. A mutual yes costs nothing and may lead nowhere, and you will not know until you meet.

If you match, write within a day, while the conversation is fresh. Refer to something she said in the call, and suggest a specific place and a day. Do not spend a week trading messages first, because the energy of the session fades quickly.

If nobody matches, do not take it as a verdict. Treat the evening as practice, think about what you could do differently in the first thirty seconds, and try another session. The men who do well at these events usually get better at them by the third or fourth try.