Get a first photo that shows your face well, write a short bio that does not sound like every other man's, and stop liking everyone. Those three changes do most of the work. After that, paying for a boost or a higher tier can multiply a page that already earns matches, and it multiplies nothing on a page that earns none. Count your results for two weeks so you know which change did the work.
Know what the starting line is
a dating coach is blunt about this. In his experience the average man on Tinder gets almost no matches, and a small share of men gets most of them. He puts the split somewhere between 90 to 10 and 80 to 20, and he is describing what he has seen, not a figure Tinder publishes.
So an ordinary page earns the ordinary result, which is silence. It is not a verdict on your looks. The way out is to stop being average on the three things she sees first.
The first photo carries most of it
She sees your lead photo before anything else, and if it turns her off, the rest of your page never gets read.
a dating coach says you do not need a model's face, and he has coached men of ordinary looks into good results. What changes the outcome is how the photo was taken. Bad light, shadows that darken your eyes, an odd angle that makes you look heavier, a forced smile. A photographer friend, or a stranger you pay for an hour, costs little and shows in every photo.
Pose is the part men skip. He suggests practicing in a mirror for half an hour and holding a thought in your head when the shutter clicks, such as a cocky or amused one. A blank look reads as a man who is not there.
Every photo in the set should say something specific about your life. a dating coach's rule is that you are judged on your worst photo, so if you cannot explain what a photo is doing for you, cut it.
Write a short bio that gives her something to use
On Tinder the bio matters less than the photos, and it should be shorter than on a long-form site. It still matters. a dating coach says a short good bio beats a short bad one, and a long bad one too.
The bad kind is not offensive. It is boring: works hard, plays hard, loves his dog, mom says he is nice. She has read it a hundred times, and she stops after two sentences.
He also warns against leaving it empty, because a blank page gives her nothing to say. And he suggests leaving off star sign, politics and religion in the interest boxes. In his view they are more likely to cost you a woman than to win you one.
Write one or two lines she could reply to. A specific opinion, a small admission or a place you actually go will do it.
Stop liking everyone
This is the habit a dating coach sees hurt men most. He says he used to auto-like every profile when Tinder was new, and it worked for a while. It no longer does.
His reasoning is from experience and logic, because Tinder does not publish how it ranks men. An app that wants happy, active women has no reason to show them a man who likes everyone, and it may read that man as less selective and less attractive. Getting unmatched often or reported can push the same way.
Treat that as one experienced man's view, not a rule. It still points the right direction. Like the women you would be pleased to hear from, skip the rest, and read each page before you decide. You also arrive in the chat with something to say.
When paying helps
a dating coach's view is that a small spend is often worth it, because the app shows paying members to more people. Gold and Platinum change how you are seen, and a boost puts your page in front of more women for a set time. He says the woman does not know you paid.
His condition is the one that matters. Do it only once your page gets some results, and test it. Run a free week, then a paid one, and compare. If you get zero matches, buying more reach is multiplying zero. Tinder's tiers and prices shift, so read the screen on the day you buy and set a reminder before it renews.
Count what matters
A rise in matches is only good if conversations and dates follow. Write down four numbers for two weeks: women you liked, matches, replies to your first line, plans made.
If matches are low, work on the photo and bio. If matches are fine and replies are low, work on the first line. If the replies come but no date does, work on the ask. One change at a time tells you what helped, and a plain count keeps you from judging the app by how you felt on a bad Tuesday.
Written by Matthew Stevens, Co-Founder & Head Coach. More than half a decade coaching men across the US and worldwide.
Everything here comes out of real coaching work: the approaches, dates, texts and profiles we go through with the men we coach.