How Do You Escalate Physically With a Woman on the Dance Floor?

Approach her in person, then build contact in small steps, and let her answer each one before you take the next. Start with eye contact and a smile. Move to a light touch on the arm or shoulder, then dance closer so your bodies move together. After that, make your move: go in for the first kiss or suggest leaving the floor for somewhere you can talk. If she leans in at each step, keep going. If she steps back or turns away, drop back one step and try again lighter, or let the moment end well.

The dance floor is the easiest place in night game to touch a woman you just approached, because contact is already part of the setting. It is also the easiest place to rush, so the order matters.

Nobody should be touched by a stranger who has not said a word. Make eye contact first. Dance near her, not at her. When she looks back, smile, then step in and say something short in her ear: your name, a comment about the song, a joke about how bad you both are at this.

If she turns away from you or keeps her friends between you, you have your answer, and no amount of touching changes it. If she turns toward you, laughs or says her name, you have permission to start building the physical side.

The first touch should be one she could mistake for friendly. A hand on her upper arm while you talk into her ear. A light touch on her back as you move past a crowd. A high five or a spin when she dances well.

What you want to see is whether she keeps the contact or pulls away from it. A woman who is comfortable will stay where she is, hold the eye contact and often touch you back. A woman who is not comfortable will shift her body, cross her arms or look for her friends.

Once the light touch is welcome, close the gap while you dance. Turn so you face her, or come in from the side, and let your hips and shoulders follow the same beat. Let her set how close it gets. If she moves toward you, you can move toward her.

a dating coach makes a related point about escalation in general. It means moving things in a more sexual direction through more touch, longer eye contact and warmer topics. The man who does it smoothly sits between the one who bores a woman to death and the one who creeps her out. On a dance floor, the music does a lot of the work for you, so you can keep your talk short and your touch confident.

After a few songs of real contact, you have two good options. You can lean in for a kiss when her face is turned up to you, her eyes drop to your mouth and the closeness has been steady for a minute or more. Or you can say, "Come get a drink with me, it is too loud in here," and take her hand toward a quieter corner.

Either one is a clear next step. The kiss tests the physical side. The move to a quieter corner tests the conversation and gets her away from a crowded floor where anyone can bump in.

a dating coach warns that a chaotic environment works against you once you have something going. On a packed floor another guy can dance over and invite her, a drunk stranger can bump you apart, or a fight can break out and change everyone's mood. If the interaction is going well, do not trust fate. Move her to the edge of the floor, the bar or a booth where you can keep her attention and where other men are not close.

This also helps you read her. Once the noise drops, you can check that she is still interested and still comfortable before you go further.

Sometimes the dance floor gives you a clear no. She puts a hand on your chest, moves away or says she wants to dance with her friends. Take it well. Smile, say, "No problem, have fun," and walk off. You lose nothing by doing so, and you keep the option of talking to her later if she changes her mind.

If she is only unsure, go back a step instead of leaving. Keep the dancing, skip the touch for a song, and make her laugh. Then try a lighter touch again.

Reading a woman's response in loud, crowded conditions is easier to learn live than from a page. On a Cold Approach Bootcamp in Miami or New York, each training day has two four-hour blocks in the field, and night game is part of the mix wherever it suits you. A coach is beside you for live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set. Group is three consecutive days with three students per coach, and Private is 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. There is no skill floor, and every student leaves with a written practice plan.