When a woman decides whether to see you again, she answers two questions at once. The first is "Did I enjoy that enough to do it again?" The second is "Does this man have somewhere he is going that I would want to be part of?" Most men fail one of the two and never find out which. The fix is different for each.

Question one: was tonight worth repeating?

This one is about the room you were both in. How she felt, whether she laughed, whether the silences felt easy or stiff.

A woman who is only lukewarm about you can still say yes to a second date if the plan sounds good. An invitation somewhere she has wanted to go can do that. It buys you one more date, though, not a string of them. If the second date is flat too, there's no third.

What moves this answer is mostly small and physical.

Eye contact. A speed-dating study from the University of Innsbruck put eye-tracking glasses on 60 people, each on four short speed dates. Daters were more likely to pick the partner they had shared more eye contact with, and being looked at predicted who got picked even when giving eye contact didn't. The study measured who people chose at the end of the date, not who got a second one, so don't take it further than that. It does say something plain: a man who looks at her while she talks is easier to choose.

Making her laugh, not only laughing at her jokes. A man who is funny is a different experience than a man who is polite.

A place where you can both hear. A loud bar kills the conversation before it starts. Pick a room where a normal voice carries.

Manners. When the Daily Dot collected answers from people asked why they refused a second date, the reasons were rarely about looks. A date who let a door shut in her face, a date who drove off before she was inside, and a date who said he would expect her to pay next time all came up. These are small things, and she noticed every one. The article could not verify the stories, so read them as what people say, not as data.

Question two: does he have somewhere to go?

This one is about what happens after the novelty wears off. She is asking what a month with you would be like, and what she would tell a friend about you.

A man who passes question one and fails question two is the fun guy nobody can describe. When her friend asks what he does and what he is about, she has nothing to say. It was a good night with no direction.

What moves this answer is the content of the conversation.

Something real about your life. Not a résumé. One thing you're working on, learning or building, said in a way that makes her curious.

Asking about hers and listening. Past small talk, into what she wants and what she cares about. A two-way exchange, not a speech.

A plan with a reason in it. "There's a place I've been meaning to try, and I think you'd like it" gives her something to come back for. "We should do this again" doesn't.

Doing what you said. If you said you would text, text. The same standard you set before the date applies after it.

Which one are you failing?

Think about the last three dates that went nowhere, and check them against two sets of signs.

If you came away thinking "that was great," she laughed, and then she went quiet, you're likely failing question two. She enjoyed the night and can't say why she should keep going. Add substance and a plan.

If the date was polite, she stuck to short answers, and you spent the evening asking questions in a row, you're likely failing question one. She respected what you said and felt nothing. Cut the interview, tease her a little, and pick a better room.

Most men lean on one question. The man who relies on banter ends up as the fun guy she forgets. The man who relies on his career ends up as the impressive guy who is hard to talk to. You need both, and the first date has room for both if you don't spend it all on one.

What the fix looks like on the date

Keep the first date short, around an hour and a half. Look at her when she talks. Say one true, specific thing about your life, and ask her one real question about hers. Make one joke that's about the two of you, not a canned line.

Near the end, make the ask with a day in it: "I had a good time. I'd like to see you Thursday. There's a place I want to show you." If she says yes, you have your answer. If she hesitates, you have learned which question to work on.

When it keeps happening

If you have had eight or ten dates with women you liked and almost none turned into a second, one of the two questions is failing every time. A friend who watches you on a date, or a coach who listens to your account of three of them, will usually spot the problem in minutes. It's rarely your looks. Most of the time it's one habit you can't see from inside the date.