What to Say on Feeld?

Say one specific thing about her page, keep it to two lines, and end with a question she can answer in a few words. That works for the first message after a connection and for the note on a Ping. On Feeld, nobody writes until two members have liked each other, so by the time you can type, she has already said yes to you once. Your job is to make that yes feel right.

A connection is Feeld's word for what other apps call matches. Members choose their own words for their desires, relationship types, sexualities and genders, so a page tells you a lot before you have said anything.

That is your material. A line that could go to any woman, such as "hey" or "how is your week", gives her nothing to answer, and she has already had a dozen of them. A line that proves you read what she chose to show is the whole advantage.

a dating coach's method is the same on every app. Find one thing on her page, turn it into a short line with a little play in it, and send it within about a minute. He saves his real effort for later, when she is answering well.

A few examples of the shape:

• She lists cooking and travel: "You put cooking and travel together. What is the best meal you ate away from home, and did you try to make it afterward?"
• She lists climbing: "Climbing is on your page. Are you the one who stays on the wall or the one who films from the floor?"
• Her page is short and dry: "That is the shortest page I have read all week. Either you are mysterious or you hate typing. Which one?"

Use these as layouts, not scripts. Copy one word for word and she may have read it before. Two lines is plenty, and the last one should be a question that takes a sentence to answer.

A Ping is the one way to speak first. She is alerted at once, and you can add a short note unless she has opted out of Ping notes. Because it singles her out before she has said anything, the note has to be good.

Keep it to one line about something she shared. Skip the compliment on her looks, which she hears all day. A note like "Your dog photo looks like a negotiation. Who won?" gives her something easy to play with.

Extra Pings cost money, and the paid tier includes one a day. Spend yours on a woman you would genuinely like to meet, not on whoever happens to be on the screen.

Couples are a normal part of Feeld, and a member can link a page with a partner, so some pages show two people. Write to both of them as people who are choosing together.

Do not aim at the one you like and treat the other as scenery. A couple reads that as a reason to disconnect. Try something that includes both: "You two list travel. Where did the last trip go, and who planned it?"

Feeld is open about desire, and an open app does not mean any one woman is open to you. coach names coming across as too sexual as one of the most common errors on a dating page, and the same warning applies to a first message. Let the tension build instead of opening with something blunt.

Being direct is different. Say plainly what you are after when the chat is warm, and ask for it in a way she can answer easily. "I would like to take you for a drink this week. Are you free Thursday?" gives her something to say yes or no to. A string of vague compliments gives her nothing.

A chat that lives only in the app tends to fade. coach usually moves a woman from the app to her phone number in about four to seven messages, and he mentions meeting early and lightly rather than all at once at the end.

If she asks for a short call first, say yes. It makes her more likely to turn up, and glad to see you. Pick a simple, specific place near one of you and a day, and let her change it.

• A bare "hey" or "hello".
• The same message pasted to every connection. On the apps coach used, an exact message sent again and again could get an account suspended.
• A paragraph about yourself before she has said a word.
• Compliments about her body or her looks as the whole message.
• Anything you would not say with her standing in front of you.

Test it for two weeks. Count the connections, the replies and the plans, and change one thing at a time. If replies are low, rewrite your opening line. If replies are good and plans are few, move to the invitation sooner.