How to Pick a Night of the Week for Nightgame

There is no single best night. Pick the night that fits what you are practicing: a busy weekend night if you want many people to talk to, and a quieter weeknight if you want easier conversations and less noise. Then choose one night each week and keep it, because a fixed night lets you compare results and removes the daily argument with yourself about whether to go.

Before you look at a calendar, decide what you want from the night.

• Volume. You want as many conversations as possible, so you want a busy room.
• Quality of conversation. You want to hear and be heard, so you want a calmer room.
• Comfort. You are new, nervous or rusty, so you want a room where it is easy to start.

A night that is perfect for the first can be poor for the other two. Choose the goal first.

Friday and Saturday bring the most people. That gives you the biggest pool and the most groups to approach.

The cost is noise, competition and closed groups. On a packed Saturday, women are often in large groups with a plan for the night, rooms are loud, and your conversations are short. If you already have some experience and enough energy, it is a good test of how you do under pressure.

Friday often sits in a better spot than Saturday, because many people are still arriving from work with energy and fewer groups have locked in. Treat that as a guide, not a rule. Venues and cities vary.

Weeknights have fewer people, but the ones who are out are often more relaxed and easier to talk to. You can hear. A venue with a midweek event, such as a quiz night, live music or a happy hour crowd, can be a good place to meet people.

For a beginner, a Thursday evening at a smaller bar is an easy first choice. The room is calm, the stakes feel lower and you can practice openers without shouting.

A night you cannot sustain is not a good night. If you start at a new job at 8 a.m. Friday morning, Thursday night is not a smart choice, and you will arrive tired and spend the next day recovering.

Look at your week honestly. Pick the night after which you can sleep in or at least be reasonably clear the next day. A man who is rested approaches better than a man who is tired, and a man who has to rush home early learns less.

Each venue has its own rhythm. A lounge that is packed on Thursday may be dead on Tuesday. A bar that is quiet on Friday may be full on a Sunday for a local reason.

Visit the same venue on two or three different nights and note what you see: how many people, what kind of crowd, how loud, how many are mixing.

The way to find your night is to try a few and compare. After each night, write down:

• The night and the venue
• How many people you spoke to
• How many conversations lasted more than a couple of minutes
• How you felt
• What you would change

After three or four weeks, the log will show you which night gives you the best mix for your goal. It is more useful than any general rule, including this one.

Once you know, pick one night a week and treat it as a standing appointment. A fixed night does three things.

1. You stop deciding each week whether to go.
2. You can compare one week to the next.
3. You build a routine, and routine beats motivation.

If you want a second night, add it later. Two good nights a month are worth more than a heroic night every few months followed by weeks off.

The worst answer is to wait for the night that seems ideal. Men who plan and plan end up going out three times a year. An ordinary Thursday you actually attend is worth more than a Saturday you keep postponing.

If you want to skip the guesswork, a Cold Approach Bootcamp puts you in the field with a coach for a whole training day, in two four-hour blocks, with nightgame and daygame mixed to suit the student. It runs in Miami and New York. You get live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set, and you leave with a written practice plan for when you go out again on your own.

You can choose Group, with no more than three students per coach, or Private, fully 1-on-1 for one, two or three days.