What Is a First Contact on Plenty of Fish?

A First Contact is a message you send to someone on Plenty of Fish before the two of you have matched in Meet Me. You need a photo up on your account to send one. If you use up your First Contacts for the day, you can buy more one at a time or move up to POF Prestige, which gives you as many as you want.

On most apps you have to wait. You like her, she has to like you back, and only then can either of you say a word. A First Contact skips that step.

That matters more than it sounds. When all she can do is like or pass, the only thing she judges is your photos. With a First Contact, she sees your photos and a line of your writing at the same moment, so a good message can carry a man whose photos are only average.

That is the real advantage of any app that lets you write before a match. You get onto a woman's radar directly instead of waiting for the app to show you to her. If you suspect your writing is better than your photos, that is exactly the kind of app to be on.

The one requirement is a photo. POF will not let you send a First Contact from an account with no picture on it, and the rule makes sense from her side. A message from a blank square gives her nothing to go on, and it is easy to ignore.

Use a photo where she can see your face clearly, in decent light, with nobody else in the frame. Your message is going to be read right next to that picture, so it is worth getting the picture right before you start writing.

First Contacts come with a daily limit. When yours are spent, POF gives you two ways to keep going. You can buy more one at a time, or you can upgrade to POF Prestige, which takes the limit away.

Before you pay, look at how the free ones are doing. If you write to twenty women a day and hear back from none of them, buying more First Contacts buys you more silence. Any paid feature multiplies what you already have. Multiplying a result is often worth the money. Multiplying zero never is.

If your free First Contacts are getting some answers, that is the point where buying more, or paying for Prestige, starts to make sense.

A daily limit means each First Contact should go somewhere it has a real chance.

Pick women who gave you something to work with: a clear photo, a few written details, an interest you can actually comment on. A page with one blurry picture and nothing written on it gives you nothing to open with, so skip it and save the message.

Stay inside your honest range as well. Spending every First Contact on the most sought-after women on the app puts your whole daily allowance where the competition is heaviest.

Keep it short and easy to answer. The approach that works is a simple format you can repeat. Notice one specific thing about her, say something about it, and leave her an easy way to reply. Spend well under a minute on an opener, because she does not know you yet, and time spent polishing a message to a stranger is better spent writing the next one.

A good First Contact reads something like this: "Is that a trail in the mountains in your third photo? Which one? I'm looking for somewhere to go on Saturday." It picks up a real detail, adds a small piece of your own life, and ends on a question she can answer in one line.

Leave out three things. A long paragraph about yourself reads as heavy interest from a stranger. A compliment on her looks is what she already gets from everyone. A plain "hey" gives her nothing to reply to.

A First Contact does not start a back and forth that you control. Once she has it, the next step is hers. She can reply or like you back, and either one keeps the conversation open. If she does neither, POF does not let you send another message, so there is no second try at a weak opener.

That is one more reason to write the first one carefully, and one more reason not to take silence personally. Some women rarely open their messages. Some had a busy week. Write to the next woman and keep your attention on the ones who answer.

When one does, keep it moving. Keep your replies short, bring up one or two things at a time, and within a few exchanges suggest a plan. A First Contact is only worth the trouble if it ends in a date.