What Are the Best Dating Apps Like Plenty of Fish?

There is no single best copy of Plenty of Fish, because men leave it for different reasons. If you want a search you control, look at OkCupid. If you want the biggest crowd, look at Tinder, Hinge and Bumble. If you want something more serious, look at eHarmony or EliteSingles. Pick the one that fixes your actual complaint, and test it for two weeks.

Plenty of Fish has a free search that works at every membership level. You set a distance and an age range yourself and look through the women who fit. It also has a swipe feature called Meet Me, and a mutual match gives you unlimited messaging.

Most swipe apps show you whoever the software chooses. POF lets you go looking. That is the thing worth keeping in mind as you read on, because very few apps copy it.

OkCupid is the nearest relative. It leans on questions and filters, so you can narrow the women you see instead of only reacting to a stack. A man who likes to read before he writes will feel at home there.

Whatever you pick, the rule is the same. Set your filters once, honestly, and keep the distance to somewhere you would travel on a weeknight.

Tinder, Hinge and Bumble are the large swipe apps. They tend to have many members in cities, which means more women to meet in a given week. The tradeoff is that you rarely choose who you see, and a weak lead photo gets passed over fast.

a dating coach's rule for picking an app is to ask whether the people on it are really looking to date, and that depends on your area. An app that is busy in one city can be quiet in another, so do not rely on a ranking.

Some men leave POF because the messaging felt endless and unserious. Services that ask for more, such as eHarmony and EliteSingles, are built for people who want a relationship. EliteSingles, for example, describes itself as serious dating for educated singles and screens new members with a manual review.

They move more slowly and usually cost money to use fully. Treat a paid plan as a short test, not a commitment.

Niche services exist for people who want a shared background. JDate serves Jewish singles, and Christian-focused services exist for men who want a Christian partner. The pool is smaller, and the women in it have chosen the same starting point. We cover several of these in their own articles.

It is tempting to look for an app that is exactly like POF. But the thing that decides your results is who is on it near you, not how close the features are.

A near-copy with few members in your area will leave you with the same problem. A different app with many active women nearby will do more for you, even if the layout feels foreign. So judge by what you see when you search your own area, not by a list of features.

Your results move with you from app to app, because the same few things decide them.

• A clear, recent photo of your face in daylight as the lead.
• A short page that says one specific thing about your life.
• Selective likes. My view is that an app notices a man who likes everyone and treats him as less selective.
• A first message that mentions one real detail from her page and ends on a question.
• A move toward a day and a place within about four to seven short messages.

If those are weak, a new app only gives you a new place to be ignored.

Do not install six apps at once. Pick two that fit your reason for leaving. Use each for two weeks in the early evening, and keep the same photos and the same opener so the test is fair.

Count likes sent, matches, replies and plans for each. Drop the app that gave you fewer real conversations. If the numbers are similar, keep the one you find easier to use, because a habit you keep up beats a better app you avoid.

If you leave POF and the same thing happens everywhere, the app was never the problem. Fix the lead photo first, then the opening line, and run the test again. The right app for you is the one where, after two weeks, you have a plan on the calendar.