What Are Good Questions to Ask a Woman You Just Met?

The best questions are open, easy to answer and tied to what is happening around you both. Ask about the place, her day or what she is doing, then add something of your own so she is not answering one question after another. "What's your story?" and "What's been taking up most of your time lately?" work better than "Where are you from?" and "What do you do?" because they invite a real answer instead of a one-word fact.

That covers what to say after you walk up to a woman, and it answers the common wordings: what are good questions, and what are good questions to keep a conversation going with a girl.

When you meet a woman cold, you have already asked for her time. If your first move is a string of facts-only questions, it starts to feel like an application. Where are you from? What do you do? Do you have siblings? Each one is polite, and together they put all the work on her.

a dating coach's name for this is interview mode. His point is that a man who starts a conversation has to carry its weight at the start, at least until she decides she wants to be in it. Questions alone hand that weight to her. Statements, guesses about her and short stories take it back onto you.

A good question gives her room to be funny, brief, flirty or detailed. Use ones tied to the moment:

• About the place. "Is it always this crowded here in the afternoon?" or "Have you tried anything good on this menu?"
• About her right now. "What are you reading?" "What were you up to before I interrupted you?"
• Open-ended. "What's your story?" works at a bar, a concert or an event, as long as you say it with a smile and not like a cross-examination.
• A real opinion question. "I need a second opinion on something: which of these two coffees would you pick?" a dating coach includes asking for an opinion as one of the early beginner steps, because it is easy and gets a real answer.

Notice what these share. Each one is easy to answer, and each could produce more than one word.

This is the move that turns questions into conversation. Ask, then answer your own question, or swap the question for a light guess about her.

Instead of: "What do you do for fun?" Try: "I'm guessing you're someone who has a Sunday routine. Mine is a long walk and way too much coffee."

Now she can agree, correct you or tease you. That is what a conversation is made of. If you have asked two questions in a row, make the third a statement.

Stories help too. A thirty-second, mildly funny thing that happened to you this week carries the weight for you and tells her what you are like. a dating coach lists making statements, assumptions and telling stories as the main ways to carry a conversation early on.

After you ask, stop. A short pause is not a failure. It gives her space to answer, and women invest in a conversation when they have room to. Men who fill every gap with another question end up back in interview mode.

When she does answer, react to it. A follow-up like "Wait, really? Why that?" shows you listened and takes the talk somewhere new without you inventing another question from a list.

• Résumé questions in a row. Job, school, hometown and siblings, one after another.
• Heavy questions too early. Skip "What do you want in life?" with someone you met two minutes ago.
• Questions you ask only to look interested. If you are already thinking about the next one, she can tell.
• Questions about her looks. Keep the first minutes on what she thinks and does.

Mostly, yes. The same rule applies: open and specific beats generic. On dating apps, though, you have no room, no voice and no body language, so a question has to do more work by itself. In person, a bad question can be rescued by your smile and tone. This article is about speaking to a woman face to face, where the rescue is built in.

A list of questions does not teach timing, tone or when to switch from asking to telling. That comes from live reps and fast feedback. A Cold Approach Bootcamp trains approaching and conversation in the field in Miami and New York, including keeping a conversation going without turning it into an interview. Each training day is two four-hour blocks, with daygame and night game mixed to suit you.

Group runs three consecutive days at three students to a coach. Private is one, two or three days, fully one-on-one.