What Are Good Flirty Conversation Starters for Tinder?

A good flirty starter plays with one specific thing from her page, fits in one or two lines and leaves her something easy to answer. It is light and a little cheeky, it is about her and not about you, and it quietly admits you are both there to see whether you would like each other. A line you could send to any woman on the app reads as exactly that, so build every one around something only she put there.

Flirting is not a compliment about her body, and it is not a pickup line pulled from a list.

It is a small tease with a smile in it. You notice something, you exaggerate it or guess at it, and you give her a chance to play back. a dating coach's description of what works has three parts. It is short and light, witty or sarcastic rather than hilarious. It is aimed at the point of the whole exercise, which is whether the two of you would get along. It also has to be personal. Even a line you reuse should be about something she personally did.

Look for the odd thing on her page and poke at it. A prompt works better than a photo, because answering a prompt feels like she chose to say it.

• "Three photos on a mountain and one holding a latte. Which one is the real you?"
• "Your hot take is that brunch is overrated. Bold. I need you to defend this."

Neither one insults her. Both give her something to correct or enjoy, and both have an easy answer.

A confident guess works because she gets to confirm or fix it.

• "I'm guessing the dog chose you and you had no say."

• "You look like someone who has strong views about how to load a dishwasher. Am I right?"

• "You seem like someone who owns four chargers and still has a dead phone."

Say it with a smile and not as a judgment. Keep the guess warm, because a guess that sounds like an insult ends the chat.

a dating coach shows a version of this. When a woman's prompt says something about her, agree with it, and then frame your own trait as a small flaw. He answered a woman who had always run her own businesses by saying he had never had a boss and was bad at taking orders. It works because it relates, and it sounds like an admission while also saying something good about you.

Do your own version: "Same, I am also terrible at following instructions. We might last exactly one drink."

Both of you know why you are here, and a light nod to that helps.

• "We both like bad puns and good coffee. I think that is enough for one drink."
• "If I guess your coffee order and I'm right, you owe me a drink."

Some men hear "be direct" and take it to mean be crude. This is the opposite: direct and playful, with a drink or a plan hanging in the air.

A few things sink a flirty line.

Do not comment on her body or send anything sexual to a stranger. Do not send "hey beautiful" or a copied line that ignores her page. Do not write three paragraphs. a dating coach's rule is that shorter is better if you can say the same thing in fewer words. And do not turn the chat into an interview of questions with no tease in it.

a dating coach also notes that you can reuse a line across women who show the same detail, since each one is answering about something she chose to put on her page. Write a few good ones for the details you see most often.

Once she answers, keep the energy going with one more playful turn. Then suggest a plan, with a day and a place near you. Flirting only counts if it ends in a drink.

Send your line soon after you match, while she still remembers swiping on you. A clever line that arrives a week late is still late, and a plain one sent today usually beats it.