Set the bottom at the youngest woman you would honestly enjoy an evening with, and the top several years above your own age. Keep it wider than feels natural, because the range is a gate that works in both directions. Then test it by changing one number at a time and watching your replies.
Where the setting is
On Tinder, your age range sits in your Discovery Settings. Open the app, tap the profile icon, go to Settings, then scroll to Discovery Settings. Along with who you want to be shown, it holds the age range and your distance.
These settings are easy to change by accident. A thumb catches a slider while you scroll, or you narrow it one night in a mood and never look again. Check them every so often.
The range works in both directions
Most men treat the age range as a preference, a list of women they want to see. It behaves more like a gate.
You have a range, and so does she. For you to show up in her stack, you have to fit inside her range. For her to show up in yours, she has to fit inside yours. Both conditions have to be true.
So a narrow range does not only limit who you see. It limits who sees you. A man of forty who sets the top at thirty-five has cut himself off from nearly every woman in her late thirties, most of whom would have been glad to see him. A man who sets the bottom very low is mostly reaching women whose own ranges do not stretch up to his age.
How to choose the bottom
Be honest with yourself about the youngest woman you would genuinely enjoy spending an evening with, in conversation and not just in looks. That is your bottom number.
Going lower does not help. It adds women who will rarely reach you, since their own settings tend to stop before your age, and it fills your stack with cards that cannot turn into dates. That wastes your swipes, and on Tinder time and attention are the scarce things.
Raising the bottom a little, to women you could actually talk to, usually improves the quality of every session.
How to choose the top
This is where most men go wrong. They set the top at their own age or below, and the result is a small pool of women who often do not see them back.
Set the top a few years above your age. Women in that group often respond well to a confident man, and they are more likely to have you inside their own range. You are not obliged to date anyone you see. You are only giving yourself more cards worth looking at.
Test it, do not guess
a dating coach treats online dating as a set of ratios you can measure: how many likes become matches, how many matches become replies, and how many replies become dates. His advice is to find the weak step and change one thing at a time.
Use the same method on your age range. Keep a normal week as a baseline. Then change one number by a few years and run another normal week, with the same photos and the same openers. Compare how many matches turned into real replies. A change that brings more replies stays. A change that brings only more cards, without more conversation, does not.
Changing three things at once tells you nothing, so resist the urge.
Be selective inside the range
A wide range does not mean you should like everyone in it. coach has said that, in his experience, apps respond to a man who likes everyone as a man with no standards, and show him fewer of the women he wants.
So widen the range and then be choosy about who you actually like. Look at each card and like the women you would take out. Let the rest pass. That keeps your behavior clean and your stack good.
When your results are still thin
If you have a sensible range and you are still short of replies, the range is not the problem. It is a setting that decides who sees you, not what they think once they look.
The most common causes are the first photo, a thin page, and an opener that gives her nothing to answer. That is where the biggest gains are, and where an outside opinion on your real conversations tends to find the answer quickly.
Written by Matthew Stevens, Co-Founder & Head Coach. More than half a decade coaching men across the US and worldwide.
Everything here comes out of real coaching work: the approaches, dates, texts and profiles we go through with the men we coach.