What a Handle Means on Happn

A Crush is what happn calls a match. You have one when you and another user have both tapped the heart button on each other. When it happens you get a notification, and from that point either of you can start a conversation.

Tapping the heart on someone sends a Like, and on happn a Like is secret. She does not find out you liked her unless she likes you back.

So a Crush is the moment two secret Likes meet. Neither of you had to show your hand first. You both tapped the heart, the app noticed, and it let you know.

A SuperCrush can lead to a Crush too, by a different route. If you send one and she accepts it, it becomes a Crush, and the chat opens the same way.

Before a Crush, you can look at her page, but you cannot talk to her, apart from the one message a SuperCrush allows.

After a Crush, the conversation is open to both of you. You can write first, she can write first, and there is nothing else to wait for on either side. The app's part is finished. Everything from here is on you.

That is worth saying plainly, because a lot of men treat the Crush as the win. It is not. It is permission to start. A Crush that never gets a first message, or gets a lazy one, is worth exactly as much as no Crush at all.

A Crush on happn comes with something most app matches do not. You already know she spends time near you.

Every person on your Main Page is someone whose path crossed yours. So when a Crush lands, you know the date can be easy to set up and close to both of you. a dating coach's rules for dates from the apps put real weight on keeping the date near your place, and happn hands you most of that for free.

You also know she chose you without being nudged. A secret Like costs her nothing and tells you nothing on its own. Two of them meeting means she looked at you and decided yes.

The first message decides most of what follows, so give it a little thought.

a dating coach starts every first message the same way. He scrolls through what she has put up and looks for anything unusual he can comment on, or better, tease her about. When nothing jumps out, he does not force it. He falls back on a line he has already used on women like her, because a tested line beats a strained one. Either way he keeps it short, since fewer words usually land better than many.

On happn you have one more option that no other app gives you so neatly: the place you crossed paths. A light line about the neighborhood or the coffee shop you apparently share is specific and easy to answer. It is a little funny, too, and it has nothing to do with her looks.

What you want to avoid is the one-word opener. "Hey" after a Crush gives her nothing to answer and nothing to remember you by.

Chats that drift for days without a plan tend to fade out on every app, and happn is no exception.

a dating coach aims to go from the app to her number within four to seven messages. That is not a rush. It is a handful of messages with some back and forth in them, then a simple suggestion. On happn the suggestion almost writes itself, because you both know the area. Pick somewhere close to where you crossed paths, name a day, and ask.

If she is keen, she will say yes or offer another day. If she is vague twice, let it go and put your attention on the next Crush.

If she writes first, take it as a good sign and answer in kind. Match her energy, add something of your own, and do not leave her to carry the conversation. A woman who opened the chat has done her part. Suggesting the plan is still your job.

Sometimes a Crush shows up with someone you do not remember liking. It is not a glitch. A Crush only happens when two people have liked each other. The likeliest explanation is CrushTime, happn's guessing game, where picking someone sends them a Like by default.

If that happens, you can simply decide whether you would have liked her anyway. If yes, write to her as if you meant it. If no, leave it there.