Picking Up Women at Target

Picking up women at Target is possible, but the store punishes the man who stays too long. Do one or two slow laps through the sections where people browse, open on whatever she is deciding between, and either get her number or move on within a few minutes. After an hour of wandering with an empty cart, the staff and the other shoppers will notice you long before she does.

A coach in a dating coach's weekly Q&A was asked about students who say they practice at Target or Walmart. His answer was that he would rather they went to a mall. In a big mall you can spend an hour talking to women and nobody notices, because there are dozens of shops and thousands of people. In a single store, the same hour turns you into the guy everyone has seen three times, chatting with a different woman in each aisle.

That does not make Target useless. It makes it a stop, not a session. Go when you actually need something, keep your eyes open, and take the chance if a good one shows up.

Some sections are built for wandering, and those are where women have a spare minute.

• Home and decor. People pick things up, put them down, picture them at home and change their minds. Plenty to talk about.
• Books, cards and seasonal aisles. Slow, browsing traffic, and the products are an easy topic.
• Clothing racks. Women compare and hold things up. A short, honest opinion is welcome here if you keep it friendly.
• The coffee counter. Many stores have one near the entrance. People stand in line and then sit for a few minutes, which is the easiest kind of conversation in any store.

Skip the pharmacy and the personal care aisles. People want privacy there, and a stranger striking up a conversation over the cough medicine is unwelcome.

The easiest opener is a genuine request for her opinion on something you are actually choosing. Stand near her with two throw pillows or two mugs and ask, "Honest answer, which one of these would you actually put in your apartment?" It is real, it is easy to answer, and it gives her a chance to tease you about your taste.

You can also comment on what she is weighing up. "You've been holding those two candles for a full minute. Which one is winning?" Keep the tone light and curious.

a dating coach points out that a plain, everyday question gets you a polite answer, because most people extend that courtesy to a stranger. But the polite answer only buys you a few seconds. You still have to follow it with something more interesting, like a reaction, a guess about her or a small tease.

A woman at Target is usually there for fifteen minutes and has a list. You do not have the whole evening you would have in a bar, so do not save your intentions for later.

After a minute of easy talk, introduce yourself and tell her plainly why you came over. "I'm Dan, by the way. I'll be honest, the pillows were half an excuse. I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi." That sentence is what turns a friendly chat in home decor into a pickup.

If she smiles and keeps talking, you are in a good spot. If she gives a polite answer and turns back to her cart, thank her and walk off to a different part of the store.

You will rarely get a second chance at the register. Ask while she is still standing there.

Make it sound like the obvious next step: "I've got to finish my list, but let's grab a drink this week. What's your number?" Then send a text so she has your number too. If she has time and the store has a coffee counter, you can suggest a quick coffee right there instead. An instant date of ten minutes is often worth more than a number.

Some women at Target are not available for a conversation, and reading that correctly is part of the skill.

Leave her be if she has small children with her, is on a phone call, or is moving fast with a full cart. Leave the employees alone while they are on the clock. When a student once asked coach whether to flirt with women at the Target where he worked, the answer depended on how much he cared about his job. A customer flirting with a worker puts her in an awkward spot she cannot easily walk away from.

And never approach a woman in the parking lot. Inside, under the lights and with people around, a friendly stranger is normal. Next to her car, he is alarming.

Most men can follow all of this on paper and still walk past her in the aisle. The Cold Approach Bootcamp is where that changes. It is in-person training in the field, with real approaches in daygame spots like streets and cafes and night game spots like bars and lounges. A coach watches each approach live and gives you feedback once the set is over.

You can train in Miami or in New York. Choose Group, three consecutive days with three students per coach, or Private, fully 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. A training day means two four-hour blocks out in the field. There is no skill floor, and every student goes home with a short written practice plan.