Is It Better to Use Tinder or Approach Women in Person When You Travel?

Use both, and give approaching the better hours of your day. Tinder gives you a more consistent supply of dates while you are busy sightseeing, and you can start lining them up before you land. Approaching in person gives you better dates per hour and works in cities where the apps are slow. On a short trip, the best plan is to let the app fill the evenings and approach by day, when women are out and relaxed.

This article covers how the two compare when you are traveling, a simple plan for a week, and the risks to watch.

At home, you can spend months on either method. On a trip, time is the constraint. You may have four days, a hotel and no friends in the city.

That raises two practical questions. How fast can you turn a conversation into a date? And how much of the trip are you willing to spend on your phone? Those two answers decide which tool gets the hours.

Travel also helps you in one way. You are a stranger with no history, so you can be anyone on the street, as a dating coach puts it. A woman who meets you in a new city knows nothing about your past, only the man who walked up to her. That is true everywhere, and it feels easier to act on when nobody around knows you.

Tinder is useful because it works while you are doing something else. You can swipe over breakfast, reply on the train and set a date for the evening. You can match before you land and arrive with plans.

It also lowers the nerve bar. If you are tired, jet-lagged or alone on your first night, the app lets you meet people without walking up to anyone.

Its weakness is volume and quality. You can spend hours messaging and still end up with a handful of dates, some of whom never show. a dating coach notes that plans set by text with someone you have never met are the most likely to flake, and that a phone call or video call before the date makes her far more likely to show up. If you use the app on a trip, call her before you meet.

Approaching in person is faster. A coach who logged his numbers in the Philippines got about 25 dates from more than 180 app conversations, with roughly seven and a half hours of app time. He got 11 dates from 16 in-person approaches in about half an hour. His note was that the app gave more dates in total, since approaching depends on who you see on a given day, and approaching gave far more dates for the time spent. Treat that as one data point, not a rule.

In person, you also skip the photo filter. She sees you, hears you and decides in a minute. In a new city, that means you can meet women who are not on the app, or who use it rarely.

The cost is nerve and time on foot. You need to walk through places where women are, and some days you will not see anyone worth approaching. The app is the backup on those days.

• Before you land. Update your photos, match with a few women near where you are staying, and move the best conversations to a quick call or video chat so a real date is likely.
• Daytime. Spend two to three hours walking cafés, markets, malls or parks. Open with something about where you are. Aim for a conversation and a number, and for an instant coffee if she has time.
• Early evening. Check your app dates and your approach numbers, and confirm plans for tonight.
• Night. Have one planned date, one social outing and one early night. Do not spend every night out.

That plan lets you stack both without burning a day on either. Approach on the days your app dates cancel, and use the app on the days you have no energy to approach.

Travel adds risk, and apps add some more. In certain cities, people have been robbed or drugged after meeting a date from an app, sometimes when the date arrives with a friend or suggests a private place. Meet in a public place first, tell someone where you are going, keep your own drink in your hand and do not follow a stranger somewhere remote. Approaching in the daytime in a busy area carries lower risk because you are meeting her in public by default.

Also respect local norms. In some countries a man talking to a woman in public is normal. In others it is unusual, and you need to be more reserved. Read the city before you decide how bold to be.

If you can only pick one, pick approaching, provided you are willing to do it. The skill travels. It works in any country, and it keeps working when the app is slow, banned or full of men. If you are not ready to approach, use Tinder, but treat it as a bridge and not a home.

The Cold Approach Bootcamp trains that skill with a coach next to you. It runs in Miami and New York as a three-day Group program at a 3:1 student-to-coach ratio or a Private program of one, two or three days, with two four-hour blocks in the field each training day. A man who has spent a weekend approaching with a coach arrives in a new city ready to use his days.

Is Tinder worth it for a short trip?

Yes, for lining up a few dates. Match before you land and call her before you meet.

Does approaching work in a foreign city?

Yes. Being foreign can open conversations, and your social skill decides whether they continue.

What if I do not speak the language?

Learn a few words and rely on a friendly tone. Many women in big cities speak some English.