Is eHarmony Good for Young People?

It can be, if you are in your twenties and want a relationship. eHarmony asks a long quiz and sorts people by compatibility. It suits a young man who knows what he wants. It frustrates one who wants to swipe through a stack of quick dates and collect matches. It does not publish how many of its members are young, so the only honest check is your own area.

eHarmony describes itself as a place for people who want a meaningful relationship. At sign-up, a member says whether they are looking for something casual, serious or not sure. Every new member also takes a Compatibility Quiz before matching starts.

None of that is about age. It is about intent. A twenty-four-year-old who wants a partner and a thirty-eight-year-old who wants a partner are in the same position on this site. A twenty-four-year-old who wants to see what happens at the weekend is in the wrong room, and so is a thirty-eight-year-old who wants the same.

The quiz asks you to say who you are, how you deal with people and what you like. A man who has a decent idea of those answers breezes through it. A man who is still working it out finds it slow, and there is no shame in that. A lot of men in their twenties are still deciding what they want.

The slower pace also cuts the other way. On a swipe app, a woman decides on you in a second. Here she has finished a quiz and said what she is looking for, so a mutual Like means two people did some work to get there. If you want a relationship at twenty-five, you may find that a relief.

How many young members are on eHarmony near you is not published, and any article that gives a share is guessing. A site's overall average says nothing about the women within an hour of your home.

You can check it yourself in about ten minutes. Set your age range to the women you would honestly be glad to take to dinner, open your Discover list and go through forty or fifty names. Write down how many are in your range and how many pages look filled in. If the list runs dry fast, the pool near you is thin. If it keeps going, you have an answer.

Remember that age is a setting on both sides. Your range decides whom you see, and her range decides whether she sees you. Use your real age, because the date of birth you enter is the one every woman sees, and eHarmony says age verification is a legal requirement.

Widen your distance first, since that costs nothing. Then look at the age range you set. Many young men set a narrow band and then wonder why the list is short.

If you still find few women your age, treat that as local information and not as a verdict on you. It is a reason to run a second app next to eHarmony for the same few weeks and compare, since a dating coach says a man can do badly on one app and well on another.

Basic membership is free. It covers the quiz, browsing members and the first likes and opening messages. Premium removes the cap on messaging, shows every photo and tells you who viewed your page.

Paid time is sold in multi-month terms that renew automatically unless you cancel before the term ends. If money is tight, which it often is in your twenties, put the end date in your calendar the day you pay. coach treats a paid feature as a multiplier on results you already have, so use the free version first and see whether women reply.

Do not copy the pace of a swipe app. Read her page, pick one specific detail and write one or two sentences about it. Leave her something easy to answer in a line.

Be choosy with your Likes. a dating coach says liking nearly everyone teaches an app to treat you as less selective, and men who stopped doing it got better results.

Once a chat has a few friendly exchanges, suggest a place and a day. A woman who told this site she wants something serious is glad of a clear invitation. coach gets from a first message to a phone number in about four to seven messages.

Skip it if you want casual dates. The site presents its members as wanting serious relationships, and a man who hides that he wants something lighter wastes their time and his own.

Skip it if you want the biggest possible pool and the fastest results. A swipe app gives you more to work with in a week. My advice is to test more than one app, and for a young man who wants speed, eHarmony is not the first one to test.

Take the quiz when you are rested and answer as you are, not as you think a woman wants. Add clear daylight pictures and two or three specific lines for each question.

Then write to women soon after you spot them and count four numbers: Likes that became matches, matches that replied, replies that became plans, and plans that became dates. If matches are healthy and plans are rare, you are waiting too long to suggest a drink. If nothing moves after three weeks, put the time into another app.