How to Unmatch Someone on Coffee Meets Bagel

Open her page and tap Hide or Report, or tap the three dots in your chat with her, then choose Hide & unmatch, confirm, and pick a reason. After that you cannot see her or message her again, and the reason you pick is anonymous. Coffee Meets Bagel says unmatching is final, so it cannot be undone.

Coffee Meets Bagel gives you two ways in, and both end in the same place.

From her page:

1. Open her profile.
2. Tap Hide or Report.
3. Choose Hide & unmatch.
4. Confirm, then pick a reason.

From your chat:

1. Open the chat with her.
2. Tap the three dots.
3. Choose Hide & unmatch.
4. Confirm, then pick a reason.

Three things follow. You can no longer see her, and you can no longer message her. The reason you choose is anonymous. And the decision is permanent.

Coffee Meets Bagel is plain about that last part. Deleting a chat or unmatching is final and cannot be undone, so there is no restore button waiting for you if you change your mind tomorrow.

Treat the button as permanent, because it is.

The same menu offers both options, and they are for different situations.

Hide & unmatch is for ordinary endings. You lost interest, the conversation went nowhere, or you started seeing someone else. Nobody did anything wrong.

Report & unmatch is for someone who broke the rules. That covers a fake account, a person asking you for money, harassment, or threats. Reporting ends the match too, and it flags the account for Coffee Meets Bagel to look at.

If you are unsure, ask whether the problem is safety or taste. A safety problem gets a report. A taste problem gets a quiet hide.

Unmatching is not rude. It is housekeeping.

a dating coach treats it as no big deal. On his podcast he makes the point that if a woman who matched with you turns out not to be your type, you can simply unmatch her and move on, because it costs you nothing.

Other sound reasons:

• She has made it clear she is not interested, and the chat is just sitting there.
• You have started seeing someone and want your list to reflect it.
• Something she said made you uncomfortable, even if it did not break any rule.

A tidy list also helps you. Fewer dead chats means more attention for the women who are actually answering.

Because the button cannot be undone, the worst time to press it is right after something annoyed you. She took a day to answer. She could not do Thursday. She sent a one-word reply.

None of those means she is not interested. People get busy, and a no to one evening is sometimes a yes to another. If you unmatch every time a conversation cools, you throw away chats that were one light message from a date.

Give it a day. If you still want to unmatch tomorrow, do it then, calmly.

When you do unmatch, just unmatch. You do not owe her a parting message, and you should never send an angry one on the way out.

My reasoning is practical. Every dating app is a business that needs women to enjoy using it. Harsh messages and reports put negative marks on an account, and an account with those marks can end up shown to fewer attractive women. A bitter last line before you unmatch is exactly the kind of message that gets reported.

A quiet unmatch costs you nothing. A nasty one can cost you with every woman you have not met yet.