How to Text a Beautiful Woman

Text a beautiful girl the way you would text any woman you want to see: short, specific, a little teasing, and with a plan in mind. The one thing that separates you from the pile in her phone is that you do not sound impressed. She has seen a hundred versions of "hey gorgeous" this month. A man who sounds relaxed and interesting is rare.

Picture a woman with a lot of attention. Her notifications are full of compliments, "hey beautiful," "how's your day, princess," and long paragraphs from men who met her once.

Almost every one of those texts has the same gift hidden inside it: the man wants something from her, and he is nervous. Replying costs her effort and gives her nothing. So she ignores most of them, and she is right to.

Your goal is a text that is easy and pleasant to answer. That alone puts you ahead.

The obvious move is to tell her she is beautiful. She knows. A compliment about her looks tells her nothing about you except that you noticed what everybody notices.

coach makes a related point about numbers. If all you say is "I like you, what's your number," it seems the only thing you like her for is her appearance, and that you would take any girl's number. The same goes for a text. Make it about something she did or said.

If you do want to tell her she looks great, do it once, tied to a specific thing, and then move on:

• "That green coat from Friday. Worth it. Anyway, I found the burger place we argued about."

Said once and lightly, it lands. Repeated every day, it starts to sound like begging.

My test for a good text is a simple one: if you were her, could you think of something to say back? These pass.

• "Settle something for me. Pineapple on pizza, crime or genius?"
• "I'm pretty sure you lied about liking jazz. Prove me wrong with one song."
• "You looked like someone with strong opinions about brunch. Was I right?"

Each is light, takes one line to answer, and sounds like a person with his own sense of humor. She does not have to perform or impress you, which is a relief when everyone else is asking her to.

Beautiful women are often treated with careful reverence, which gets boring. A little teasing says you see her as a person.

When she gives you a hard time, My advice is to agree and exaggerate, or turn it into a joke, then keep going. If she says, "You seem very sure of yourself," you can say, "Completely. It's my only skill. Cooking is a distant second."

What not to do is argue, defend yourself or send a long reply to prove a point. And when she is testing you, do not suddenly ask for a date to escape the discomfort. Pass the test, keep it light, and ask later when she is warm again.

Many men text a beautiful woman faster, longer and more carefully than anyone else. Then they answer in thirty seconds every time while she takes a day. That is the clearest sign you think you are lucky to be talking to her.

Use the pace you would use with any woman: a reasonable gap, not an instant reply every time, and shorter texts than hers. One or two ideas per text. If she goes quiet for a day, you have a life to get on with, so go and get on with it.

The women who get the most attention also get the most "let's chat" men who never meet. The man who says, in a few days, "Come try the new Thai place Thursday after work?" is a pleasant surprise.

Do not spring a rigid "dinner Friday at 8" on her out of the blue. My closing sequence goes in small steps: "Are you an adventurous eater?" then "What's your view on trying somewhere new with a witty stranger?" then "What's your schedule this week?" Each yes makes the next one easier.

A beautiful woman is often busy and may take hours to reply. That is normal, so do not read her pace as a verdict. If her replies are warm, keep going. If she gives one-word answers, let a day pass and then send one light, different text, such as a funny photo, with no question attached. coach calls this pinging a bit of value into the void: it needs no reply, so you lose nothing if she gives none.

If she still does not engage, let it go and move on. There are many other women, and you will text them the same way.