Tap your Photo Icon, tap the Gear icon and scroll down to the Notifications section. Tap Push Notifications or Emails, then use the toggle at the top to switch that whole group off, or the individual toggles to switch off specific categories. Purple means on. Tap Done on an iPhone, or the Back Arrow on Android, to save your changes.
The steps
- Tap your Photo Icon.
- Tap the Gear icon.
- Scroll down to the Notifications section.
- Tap Push Notifications or Emails.
- Use the toggle at the top to turn the whole group off, or the individual toggles for specific categories. Purple means on.
- Tap Done on iOS, or the Back Arrow on Android, to save.
Push notifications and emails are separate lists, so turning one off leaves the other exactly as it was. If you want both quiet, go through both.
Keep the one that matters
Before you switch everything off, think about leaving New Messages on. That is the alert telling you a woman has written to you, and it is the one with a real cost if you miss it.
Usually it is the other alerts that get irritating. Turn those off with the individual toggles and keep the message alert, and your phone stays calm without hiding the conversations that could turn into dates.
If even that feels like too much, keep New Messages on and silence Hinge at the phone level during work hours. You still see every message the moment you look, and nothing buzzes while you are in a meeting.
Why men switch them off
The reasons are usually simple. The phone buzzes in a meeting. One alert pulls you into the app for twenty minutes. Or every notification starts to feel like a small verdict on you, and you open the app far more often than it deserves.
All of those are fair. The answer is rarely to quit the app. It is to decide when you use it.
Use the app at set times instead
a dating coach handles his dating apps in short, deliberate sessions a couple of times a day, so they never take over his work, his training or his friends. That habit is what makes turning alerts off safe. You are not ignoring the app. You are choosing when to open it.
Pick two times that fit your day, such as lunch and early evening. Open Hinge, answer everyone who wrote, send a few likes with real comments, and push the best conversations toward a plan. Then close it and get on with your day.
The sessions also make you better at it. Five replies written in one focused sitting, with your head actually in the conversation, come out sharper than twenty distracted ones typed between emails. Women notice the difference, even if they could not tell you why.
coach is open that this pace means it can take him a few days to get a woman out on a date. He is fine with that, because the app is not eating his week while it happens.
The cost of going completely silent
If you switch everything off and never open the app on a schedule, messages sit for days. The women you are talking to are usually talking to other men too, and a slow reply gives someone else the chance to ask her out first.
So going silent only works with the routine attached. A quiet phone is fine as long as the sessions stay fixed. Drop the sessions, and the quiet just costs you dates.
If you know a hectic week is coming and you will barely open the app, move your best conversations to text before it starts. A woman who has your number can still reach you while Hinge sits silent in a folder.
Emails are the easy part
Emails have their own entry in the same Notifications section. Whatever you decide about push alerts, you can switch email off separately without touching anything on your phone's lock screen. For most men there is no reason to keep both.
Move the good ones to text
Notifications matter much less once your best conversations are on text. When a woman is clearly enjoying the back and forth and a drink has come up, trade numbers with her. After that, Hinge can be as quiet as you like, because the women you are actually seeing can reach you directly.
Written by Matthew Stevens, Co-Founder & Head Coach. More than half a decade coaching men across the US and worldwide.
Everything here comes out of real coaching work: the approaches, dates, texts and profiles we go through with the men we coach.