How Do You Match on Coffee Meets Bagel?

You match when both of you have liked each other, and then the app starts a chat. Most matches start in Suggested, where a personalized batch arrives around noon every day and you like or pass on each person. Liking there is free. Sometimes a woman in the batch has already liked you, and then your like makes an instant match. In Discover there are no regular likes. You send a Flower instead.

Every day around noon, the app sends a personalized batch to the Suggested section. You like each person or pass.

When you like someone there, you appear in her Suggested section soon after, which gives her a chance to match with you for free. Sending a regular like costs nothing, so you have no reason to hold back on a woman you would honestly like to meet. The reverse is also true. A man who likes everyone in the batch fills his chats with women he has no interest in, and he has to write to all of them.

Occasionally a woman in your Suggested batch has already liked you. If you like her back, it is an instant match.

You cannot tell which women those are, and that has a practical consequence. A careless pass can throw away a match that was already half made. Go through the whole batch slowly. Look at the photos, read what she wrote, and ask whether you would enjoy an hour across a table from her.

In Discover, regular likes are not available. You send a Flower, and your page shows up instantly on her Likes You page.

That is a louder move than a regular like. A Flower shows up unblurred at the top of her Likes You. Use it for women you genuinely want to meet, and not as a shortcut. a dating coach's concern with any feature that signals extra interest is the frame it sets. You have told her she stands out before she has said anything, so keep your first message light.

Everyone who has sent you a like or Flowers is on your Likes You page. How you see it depends on your plan.

Free members see those pages blurred. The exception is people who sent Flowers, who are unblurred at the top, so you can like them back for free. CMB Premium subscribers can view all of their likes in Likes You and match instantly with the people there. If you are on the free plan and the page looks full of blurred faces, those are real likes. You can see who they are only by paying, or when a woman sent Flowers.

When both of you have liked each other, the app starts a chat so you can talk. From that point the match is not the goal. A match is a woman who has agreed to a conversation, and nothing more.

Open with something specific to her, such as a detail from her photos or one of her answers. "How is your week" gives her nothing to answer. A short, curious message about one thing she wrote gives her an easy reply. Chats on this app run on a clock, so do not wait several days to write.

Many men treat a match as an achievement and let the chat drift. a dating coach calls the result the pen pal: a man who trades messages with a woman for days or weeks and never makes plans. He says it is one of the most common problems on any app.

A better approach is to keep the exchange short and friendly, then ask for a specific drink on a specific evening once she is answering well. If she agrees, move the details to her number so the date does not depend on the app. If she hesitates, leave it a day and try once more with something light.

Check the two parts you control. If few women like you back, the problem is your photos, and the fix is clear daylight shots of your face. If women match but go quiet, the problem is your first message. Change one thing at a time, wait a week, and count again.