How Do You Answer the Green and Red Flags Opening Move on Bumble?

Give her one green flag and one red flag, and make both small, specific and true. Keep the whole answer to two or three lines, let one of the two be a little against yourself, and end by handing the question back to her. The answer is a few seconds of her reading about what a day with you is like, so it should read like a man talking, not a form.

Bumble's own support page says Opening Moves have been taken out, and that each person in a match now sends one opening message instead. So you are less likely to see this exact question attached to a match than you once were.

You can still run into it. Women write it in their own words as an opener, and men who used it before bring it up. However it reaches you, the question is the same, and the same kind of answer works.

She is not collecting a list of your virtues. She is trying to find out whether you can talk about yourself without bragging and without squirming.

A man who answers with ten green flags and no red one sounds like he is reading his own résumé. A man who says he has no red flags sounds like he has not looked. The man who gets a reply is the one who gives her a real detail and seems relaxed about it.

Pick one green flag and one red flag. That is it. A third of each is where answers go wrong, because a long list reads as nervous.

The green flag should be something you do, not something you claim. "I am loyal and honest" is a claim that every man makes. "If I say I will text you back after the game, I text you back after the game" is a thing she can picture.

The red flag should be small and a little funny. It should be a habit that would annoy her for one evening, not a trait that would worry her for a year.

These are shapes, not scripts. Swap in your own details.

• "Green flag: I book the table before we argue about where to eat. Red flag: I will lose that argument anyway and pretend it was my idea."
• "Green: I am the friend who actually shows up when somebody moves apartments. Red: I will want a sandwich as payment and I will not be subtle about it."
• "Green flag, I call my mother on Sundays and I am nice to waiters. Red flag, I have strong opinions about how to load a dishwasher. You are welcome to be wrong about it."

Notice what each one does. It gives her a picture, it shows mild humor about yourself, and it leaves a loose end she can pick up.

Do not name a red flag that is a real warning. Jealousy, a temper, being bad with money and still being hurt by your ex are all things that sound honest to you and alarming to her.

Do not flip it into a joke that is secretly a brag. "My red flag is that I am too nice" or "I work too hard" are the two answers she has seen most this month, and they read as dodging.

Do not complain about women or past relationships. A green flag that is a dig at your ex is a red flag. The warm, light tone is the point.

The last line should return the question to her, because the whole exchange is meant to start a conversation and not to end with your answer.

Something short works: "Your turn. I have a feeling yours is more interesting." Or ask a narrower version of it: "What is your red flag that you are secretly proud of?" A question with a little personality is easier to answer than "and you?"

Bumble puts a clock on every match, and each person gets one opening message before the chat fully opens. If she sent the question, your answer is your opening message, and it counts as the real start of the conversation.

So answer it the same day. Waiting three days to find the perfect line is how a good match expires. Send your two flags, then add one thing you noticed on her page. That shows you read it and gives her more than one thing to answer.

Once she replies, keep the exchange short and playful for a few messages. a dating coach's habit is to reach a phone number in about four to seven messages and to mention meeting up early, as a light suggestion.

So after she answers, you might say that her red flag sounds like something you need to see in person to judge. Then name a bar, an evening and an hour. A good answer to this question gets you the first reply. The invitation is what turns it into a date.