What Are Good Online Dating Opening Lines for Men?

Good opening lines are short, specific to her, a little playful and easy to answer. No single line works on every woman, and that is the point. The lines that get replies are templates you fit to one detail from her page, so each message reads as if you wrote it for her alone, whether you found her by swiping or she found you.

It has three jobs, and a line that does all three rarely needs more than two sentences.

It shows you read what she wrote or showed. It gives her something light to react to, such as a mild tease or a playful guess. And it leaves her one easy way to answer.

a dating coach adds a rule of thumb: shorter wins. If you can say the same thing in fewer words, do. A message that fits on one screen gets read. A message that looks like homework does not.

On apps that use prompts, pick a prompt she answered. a dating coach prefers that to a photo, because it feels more genuine and less superficial. A line about what she wrote shows attention. A line about her face shows the same thing every man before you showed.

On apps with little written, use a photo. Choose the setting or the activity, not her looks. A trail, a market, a boat, a crowded concert are all fair game.

If she has nothing at all, a short, friendly line about the city she lists or the thing she is clearly doing is better than "hey".

These are shapes. Use the real detail from her page.

She wrote about a hobby she is bad at: "How bad are we talking? I need a number out of ten and a story."

She has a travel photo: "That looks like the trip where the plan fell apart in the best way. Tell me I am right."

She listed a food strong opinion: "I am choosing to respect that and also to disagree with you out loud."

She mentioned a long list of things she wants: "I can do the first three on that list. I will negotiate the rest on the date."

She says she is a morning person: "Morning people are suspicious. What is the catch?"

She has almost nothing written: "You picked a very specific spot for that photo. Local favorite or lucky find?"

Each one picks a small, real detail, takes a mild side, and ends on a question she can answer in a line.

Many apps let a woman like one of your answers instead of writing. That tells you what she responded to, so use it.

a dating coach points out that women who like the same answer send much the same message. So he keeps one good reply for each answer and reuses it, changing the detail as needed. Once a reply has worked a few times, it is a proven line.

A short thank you, with a little playfulness, is a good start. Say she is not so bad herself, then add a light line about the two of you getting along. Keep it brief.

Answer quickly, and match her length. If she sent one line, send one or two.

A woman who writes first has already shown interest. You do not need to impress her. You need to answer in a way that is easy and fun, then move the conversation along.

• "Hey", "how are you" and "what's up". They make her do the work.
• A paragraph about your job, your car or your gym routine.
• A joke you found online, which she may have seen.
• Anything more than three lines.

a dating coach says a good message works because it is relevant to the two of you, personal to her and light. If you could swap her name for any other and nothing changes, rewrite it.

Do not reinvent every message. a dating coach keeps a document with every line that has worked, sorted by the kind of woman it worked on. When a similar woman appears, he copies the line and changes the detail.

Over a few weeks you will find a handful of lines that work again and again. That list is worth more than any list of lines from a stranger.

An opening line has one job: to get a reply. After that, keep the chat short and light, share something of yourself so you are not quizzing her, and bring up the idea of meeting before you ask. A line gets the first answer. A plan gets the date.