How Do You Answer a Would You Rather Opener on Bumble?

Pick one side, give a reason in a few words, and hand the question back with a small twist. On Bumble your reply to her opening message is your own opening message, and it opens the chat, so it needs to be more than "A." If you are the one writing the would you rather, make both choices real ones that tell her something about you.

Opening Moves, the feature that let a woman set a question in advance for her matches to answer, has been retired. Whatever she sends now is her own opening message. A would you rather is a popular choice, because it gives you an easy thing to answer without making you invent anything.

Under the current rule, each of you gets one opening message before the chat opens, and each has 72 hours to send one. If she goes first, your reply is what opens the conversation. Treat it as the real start, not a formality.

A bare "beach" is true and gives her nothing to do. Three small additions turn it into an opening.

Choose one side clearly. Add one reason that is specific to you. Then send something back, either a short question or a small challenge.

If she asks, "Would you rather have a month in Lisbon or a month in Tokyo?" a strong answer is: "Tokyo, for the food and because I would get lost in the first hour and enjoy it. Lisbon for a long weekend. Which one do you pick, and does your answer change if you have to cook?" It names a pick, shows a trait and gives her two hooks.

If she asks, "Would you rather never eat pizza again or never eat tacos again?" try: "Never pizza again. It hurts, but tacos have more range. Now I need your answer, because it decides whether we can be friends."

Answering "both" or "neither" or "it depends" reads as a man who will not commit to a pizza. The question is small, so the answer is a small test of whether you will play along.

If you truly hate both options, say so in a funny way and pick the lesser one anyway. "Both are terrible, so tacos, which makes me the villain of this story" is still an answer.

A good reply starts a conversation, and a conversation should go somewhere. After two or three exchanges on the topic, use the answer to suggest something you can do.

If she picked Tokyo too, you can say, "Then you owe me a ramen run before we both fly. Thursday?" A choice that costs her nothing becomes a reason to meet, and a plan with a place and a day is easy to say yes to.

Make both choices cost something. "Mountains or beach" is a question with no stakes, because anyone can answer it and nothing in it describes you.

Take two things you are actually weighing. A two hour drive for one specific dumpling place, or three hours cooking something that might fail. A Saturday spent on a long run, or a Saturday with the same friends and a very long lunch. A choice you have not settled yourself has a pull that an invented one never has.

Keep it short, and make it about something in her page. "Your dog photos are doing a lot of work. Dog beach at sunrise, or a long lazy afternoon at the park?" shows you looked, and it asks for one clear answer.

You have 72 hours from her message to reply, but do not use them. Answer the same day, while she still remembers why she wrote to you. A good reply a day late can land flat, and a good reply three days late is often gone with the match.

If you are running close, Bumble's Extend gives a match more time. Better to write the answer on the evening you see it.

Some would you rather questions are lazy. "Pizza or burgers" gets no spark from either side.

Answer it anyway, and add the spark yourself. Pick a side, add one real detail, and then ask a question of your own that moves toward something you could do. A flat opener is an invitation for the man who makes it better, and the next man in her chat list will send "hey."