Does Plenty of Fish Give Refunds?

Generally, no. Plenty of Fish says its subscriptions are final and non-refundable, although special terms in its Terms & Conditions may apply. If you were charged twice by mistake, the store you paid through handles it: Apple for purchases made on an iPhone, and Google Play Support for purchases made through the Play Store.

POF treats its subscriptions as final. You paid for a term, and the policy does not give money back for the part you did not use.

The one opening it leaves is that special terms in its Terms & Conditions may apply. If you think your case falls under one of them, read the Terms & Conditions first. Then you can point at the part that applies instead of arguing in general.

Be realistic about the rest. Being disappointed with how the month went is unlikely to count as one of those terms.

It is also worth remembering next time you buy. If the money is not coming back, a short first term is the cheaper way to find out whether an upgrade does anything for you.

A duplicate or incorrect charge is a different problem from wanting your money back for a membership you used. Here the question is simply where you bought it.

• Bought on an iPhone: Apple handles refunds for these purchases, so go to Apple rather than to POF.
• Bought through the Play Store: Google Play Support handles it.

Either way, have the details ready before you ask. Note both charges, the day each one went through and the amounts, and keep your request short. A clear, calm message about a charge that should not exist is much easier to sort out than a long complaint about the app.

Before you report anything, make sure the second charge is really a mistake.

Two charges close together can come from two different accounts. A POF subscription is linked to one account and does not move to a new one. So a man who upgraded a new account while the old one was still renewing is paying twice, for two real memberships.

A charge on the same date as last month's is usually a normal renewal. POF charges the full price up front for each term and renews on the date you first bought it, until you turn it off.

If either of those explains the charge, it is not a duplicate. Turn off the membership you do not want, and it will not happen again.

Whatever happens with the money already spent, turn off the renewal now so the problem does not repeat.

Cancel in the same place you paid: your iPhone's Settings under your Apple ID and Subscriptions, the Google Play app under Payments and subscriptions, or POF.com on a computer under Manage Account and Account Type. Do it at least 24 hours before the membership expires.

Deleting the app will not stop the billing, and neither will deleting your account. A man who deletes POF in frustration and walks away can keep paying for a membership he no longer uses.

If a refund is off the table, the money is spent either way. The only question left is whether the rest of the term does anything for you.

So use it with some purpose. Answer anyone who has written to you. Write to a handful of women you would genuinely take out, with a short first line about something on their page. Work your conversations in order of how close each one is to a plan, and ask the nearest one out this week.

A paid month that ends with two dates on the calendar is worth more than a refund you were never going to get.

Most men who want their money back feel the membership did nothing for them. That feeling is worth taking seriously, because the membership was rarely the problem.

An upgrade gives you more reach or more control. It does not change what a woman sees when she lands on your page.

Picture a man whose main photo is a dim shot from across a bar, with a bio that says "gym, travel, food". He gets a handful of replies on the free version and the same handful paid. The upgrade put that page in front of more women without making it any better.

Now swap in a daylight photo where his face is easy to read. Replace the three words with two specific lines about his week, and open with a short question about something on her page. The free version starts doing more straight away. If he ever pays again, he is paying to spread something that already works, and he will have no reason to ask for the money back.