Does OkCupid Give Refunds?

Usually not. Cancelling your plan stops future billing, but it does not refund you, and OkCupid does not automatically refund time you did not use. OkCupid says it tries to be reasonable if you ran into a serious bug or your payment details were used without your permission. It cannot refund anything bought through the iPhone app, because those purchases go through Apple.

The default is simple. Once you have paid, the money stays paid.

Cancelling does not change that. It only stops the next charge. And if you cancel with weeks left on your plan, OkCupid does not hand back the unused part on its own.

So a refund on OkCupid is an exception, not a routine. It helps to know that before you contact anyone, because it tells you what kind of case is worth making.

OkCupid names two situations where it says it tries to be reasonable.

A serious bug. If something on OkCupid genuinely broke and stopped you from using what you paid for, that is the kind of problem it is willing to look at. A feature that did not work is a real complaint. A month that did not bring dates is not a bug.

Your payment details used without permission. If a charge appeared that you did not make, because someone else used your card or account, raise it. That is exactly the case a refund policy exists for.

In either case, be specific. Say what happened, when, and which charge you mean. A clear, calm message about a real problem gets a better hearing than a general complaint about the app.

If you bought your plan inside the iPhone app, the money went to Apple, not to OkCupid. That is why OkCupid cannot refund it.

Any request about an iPhone purchase has to go to Apple. Contacting OkCupid about it only adds a step and a wait.

If you paid on OkCupid's website with a card or PayPal, the Apple route does not apply, and OkCupid's own policy is the one that decides.

Whatever happens with the money already spent, turn off the renewal now so the question does not come up again next month.

• Card or PayPal: go to okcupid.com/settings in a web browser and click Turn off automatic billing. This cannot be done in the app or on the mobile site.
• Apple or Google Play: cancel through Apple or Google. Deleting your OkCupid account does not stop billing through those stores.

If there is still time left on your plan, the money is spent either way. The only question is whether those days produce anything.

So use them properly. If your plan includes unlimited Likes, Like women you would actually be glad to take out, not everyone in sight. Write each of them a short message that reacts to one real thing on her page. Answer the women who write back the same day, and suggest a drink once a conversation has some life in it. A plan that ends with a date or two on the calendar was not wasted.

Most men who want their money back feel the subscription did nothing. It usually did what it promised. The trouble was what it had to work with.

a dating coach's rule for every paid feature on the apps is that it multiplies what you already get, so make sure you are not multiplying zero. More reach for a page with a weak first photo and a list of hobbies means more women passing on the same page. More Likes backed by "hey" openers means more silence.

Before you pay again, get the free version working. Use a clear, recent photo as your first one. Say something specific about your week in your written section. Open with a line about her, not about her looks.

coach has also pointed out the other side of this. If you are getting no results at all on a site, even after fixing the basics, the site itself may just not be very good for you. There are a lot of dating sites, and some work far better than others. That is worth knowing before you spend more money in the same place. Give the free account a fair few weeks, and if it stays dead, try somewhere else before you try paying.

If you do subscribe again later, assume the money will not come back and plan around that.

Pick the shortest plan that gives you a fair test. Run it after the free account is already getting you some matches and conversations. Compare the paid weeks with the free ones, honestly. If the difference is obvious, keep paying. If it is not, turn off the renewal on the first day, and you will never need to ask for a refund at all.