Are Dating App Profiles Public and Who Can See Yours?

Not in the way a social media page is. Your page is shown to other members of the app, chosen by the app's own sorting, and each app gives you some way to narrow that further. Whatever you type is visible to every woman who is shown it, so write it knowing a stranger will read it. Use the settings for the rest, and keep your matches and messages for the people you pick.

OkCupid says only other OkCupid users can see your profile, and that it is shown to a set group of users it considers good matches.

That second part is worth noticing. Your page is not laid out for everyone. The app chooses who gets shown to whom, so most members never see you at all. The same is true of every swipe app. A woman sees you only when the app decides to put you in front of her.

Bumble is blunt about the other side. It says profile information, including sensitive details you choose to add, is visible to others and helps them find you. So the more personal the fact, the more you should ask whether you want a stranger holding it.

Each app gives you a way to limit who sees you, and they work differently.

Tinder lets you turn off Discovery, so your profile is not shown to anyone new. This suits a man who wants a break from new faces while he works through the conversations he already has.

OkCupid has an Incognito mode that limits who sees your profile to people you have liked. You decide who sees you by choosing whom you like.

Hinge keeps your dating preferences private and lets you hide your last active status. So a woman does not see what you have set as your preferences, and she cannot tell when you were last on.

A common worry is that the app tells strangers where you live.

Hinge says it will never show an exact address when you set your location manually. What a woman sees is a distance, not a street.

Still, distance can give you away more than you think. If your page says you work at a specific gym and the distance is a mile, a determined person can narrow it down. If that bothers you, keep specifics out of the page. Name your neighborhood, not your building.

None of the pages we read says anything about whether search engines can show your profile. OkCupid says only its own users can see yours, which points one way, but other apps are silent in the pages we read.

So assume the safe case. Anything a match can see, a match can screenshot and send to a friend. Write for that. Use a photo you would be fine with a coworker seeing, and a bio that would not embarrass you if it were read aloud at a table.

For men, that is more of a style rule than a fear. A profile written carefully for strangers is also a better profile. It is clear, specific and polite, and it gives her a reason to write back.

A short list covers most of the risk.

Do not put your full name, your workplace, your phone number or your social media handle on the page. A match can ask for them once she has earned a little trust, and you can choose when. Do not post photos with your street sign, your car's plate or your front door in the background.

Be careful with details that identify other people. A group photo with friends puts their faces on a stranger's phone without their say. Crop them out or pick a photo where you stand alone.

Privacy and effectiveness pull in opposite directions, and you need to find the balance. A profile with no photos and no information is private, and it also gets no replies.

a dating coach's advice is to treat your page as a small piece of marketing. It should show a clear photo of your face, say what you want in plain words and give her one thing to ask about. None of that requires an address or a surname.

Once she has written back and you have a plan, move to a call or a text. By then she knows enough about you, and you know enough about her, that the app's visibility settings matter less.