What to Text After She Stays Over

Send one warm text, a few hours after she leaves and no later than the next day. Keep it positive, add a little humor, and say that you enjoyed the night. Leave her room to text first, because after a good night she often will. This is the order our coaches use, and it starts before she walks out the door.

Our coaches leave about half a day before texting a woman after the first night. The reason is that she is likely to chase a little, and it helps you if she does. If you are the kind of man who sleeps until the afternoon, you can wait until the afternoon too. As far as she knows, you went back to sleep.

Do not wait much longer than a day. The coach's explanation is that a woman left in silence starts to explain it to herself. She decides you used her, and the bad feeling stays even after you text and prove her wrong. A text within a day heads that off.

If she stays, lend her one of your shirts to sleep in. Our coaches teach it as a small comfort, and it also keeps her around a little longer in the morning instead of rushing for the door in last night's clothes. Make it your own clothes, not a spare outfit that makes her wonder who wore it before.

The easiest first text is the one she sends you, and you can make it more likely. Ask her to text you when she gets home safe. It gives her a reason to write, and it makes the night feel like it continues into the next conversation instead of stopping with a gap.

If she is taking a ride, offer to walk her out. Put on shorts and a T-shirt, walk her to the car, and say goodnight. Our coaches teach this as a small thing that builds trust, with one condition: if she says no thanks, that is the answer, and you do not push it.

Keep it warm and short, with a little teasing in it. Our coaches give two tones. One is plainly warm: that it was great to meet her, that you did not expect to like her this much, and that you did. The other is warm with a bite, like telling her you are exhausted at work and you hate her for it, but not really.

Choose the tone the night already had. If the two of you were sarcastic all evening, send the sarcastic one. If it was soft and romantic, send a soft one. The coach also wants the text to read as if the night surprised you, since that tells her you did not have an agenda and it did not feel like a plan. It should not sound like a man collecting a result.

Our coaches like it when she can stay over, and they like it even more when it happens easily. If she has to be at work early, let her go. A man who begs her to stay for breakfast makes her feel pushed, and the coach's point is that a woman who feels pushed starts to feel she made a mistake.

The same goes for the text. You do not need to send three in a row, and you do not need an answer in five minutes. One good message is enough. If she is quiet for a few hours, let it sit.

After your text, go back to the rule our coaches use for any text: look at what she sends before you decide what to send. After a night like this, you are most likely to get warm, positive replies. When you do, make a plan. Offer a day and a time, and if she suggests one herself, take it.

If she sends something short or logistical instead, keep your next text light and short too. If she goes quiet, our suggestion is to wait, then send one friendly line. Do not stack messages to fix it.

The teaching above is about the first night, but the two rules carry over. When she already stays over many times, there is nothing to settle with a text, so it can be shorter and lighter. Send a line that refers to something from the night and ends with the next plan, like "That breakfast place is a bad influence. Friday?"