What Should You Write on Your OkCupid Profile?

Write a few specific lines about an ordinary week, one opinion she could argue with, and one plain sentence about what you want. Answer the match questions honestly, because the percentage she sees comes from them. Add a short caption to your photos, and leave out adjectives, complaints and your exes.

Your photos get a woman to stop. The writing decides what she thinks of you once she has. On OkCupid it carries more weight than on a photo-first app, because the site is built around questions and written answers.

a dating coach makes the same point about longer-form sites: your profile matters more on them than it does on Tinder, where it should be shorter. So treat this as the part that earns a conversation.

Do not write for everyone. A page that tries to appeal to every woman reads like it was written for nobody.

Picture one woman you would be glad to take to dinner, and write what you would tell her across the table. That keeps the tone natural and cuts the filler. "Easygoing, funny, loyal" could be anyone's. A line about what you did last Sunday can only be yours.

A normal week. One or two sentences about what you actually do. "I coach my nephew's soccer team on Saturdays and lose to a team of eight-year-olds on a regular basis" gives her a scene, a trait and an easy question.

One opinion. Something mild she could disagree with. Pineapple on pizza, the right way to load a dishwasher, whether a hot dog is a sandwich. It shows personality and hands her a reason to write back.

What you want. One plain sentence. My point about any dating site is that you attract what you describe. Write like a man who wants something casual and casual is what shows up. Write like a man who wants a relationship and the women who answer want one too.

The percentage you see on a woman is built from the questions you both answered, and from what each of you wants. OkCupid applies basic criteria first, then narrows to people looking for someone like you, then compares answers.

So the questions are part of your profile. If you answer the way you think women want, the percentage pairs you with women who would suit a man you are not. A few true answers, even strong ones, push the wrong women down and the right ones up.

You do not have to answer hundreds. A page with few answers gives the system little to work with, so answer enough that the number means something.

OkCupid says captions help you show up in Discovery, and they help the woman reading, too. A caption turns a photo into a small story and gives her an easy thing to reply to.

Keep them short and specific. "Me at the lake" adds nothing she cannot see. "Third attempt at this trail, first time I reached the top" tells her you keep going and do not take yourself too seriously.

My short list: nothing negative, nothing needy, nothing strange and nothing that rules too many women out.

That removes complaints about dating, lines like "no drama," and rules about who should not write to you. It also removes the paragraph about your ex. If you mention a divorce at all, keep it to one fact and spend your words on the life you have now.

It removes the stock lines too. "A gentleman who knows how to treat a lady" and "I work hard and play hard" have been read by every woman on the site. They say nothing about you.

When you finish, cover your name and read it out loud. Could any man in your city have written it? If yes, add the one detail only you would know: the name of the place, the thing you said, the person who laughed.

Then check spelling and grammar, because a clean page is rarer than it should be. Ask a friend to read it and tell you what they would ask you about. If they ask nothing, there is nothing for her to ask either.

Leave the page for a week, then look at what comes back. When a woman quotes a line, that line is doing the work, and the others should be built like it. Change one thing at a time so you know which edit helped.

Keep a note of what women pick up on. That is the cheapest feedback you will get, and it costs a few minutes.