What Is the Average Age on eHarmony?

eHarmony does not publish an average age in anything we found, so any figure you read is a guess. The number that matters to you is the ages of the women the site shows you, and you can read that off your own screen in about ten minutes. The site says its members are relationship-minded singles, but it does not say how old they are.

A site's average age is a single figure over millions of people in many countries. It tells you nothing about the women within an hour of your home.

New members also join every day, so even a real average would be out of date soon. And the list you see is not the whole site. It is the women who fit the preferences you set, which is a much smaller group.

So the question to ask is how old the women in my search are rather than what the average age is, and whether enough of them are the age I want to date.

Open the site and set your age range to the women you would honestly be glad to take to dinner. Then open your Discover list and go through it.

Write down the age of each woman who appears, in groups: under 30, thirty to forty, forty to fifty, fifty and older. Stop at forty or fifty names. You are looking for a rough shape, not a research result.

When you finish, you know three things. You know which group is biggest. You know how many sit in the range you want. And you know whether the list runs dry quickly, which means a thin pool.

Age is one of the factors members set in their Member Preferences. That means your range decides which women you see, and her range decides whether she sees you.

So if the list looks younger or older than you expected, check your own settings before you blame the site. A range set only a few years wide hides a lot of women. a dating coach once worked with a client who set a very narrow band and would happily have dated women a year outside it. Widening by a year or two on each end costs you nothing, and you still choose whom to write to.

Your own age matters in the same way. The date of birth you give is the age every woman sees, and eHarmony says age verification is a legal requirement that keeps minors off the site. Use your real age, because a mismatch shows up the first time you meet.

An older list is not a problem if you want a serious relationship. The site says its members are looking for lasting ones, and women who have thought about what they want tend to know it.

Read what each woman wrote, not just the number next to her name. A fifty-year-old and a thirty-eight-year-old can both be a fit, and the page tells you more than the age does.

Do not pretend to be younger and do not hide your age. Use recent photos, including a full-length one, and write specific answers that show how you live. a dating coach's view is that an older man should present as worldly and put together, not as a man who just got older.

He also advises against raising the age gap yourself. Let her like you first. If a woman is within the range she set, she has already said she is open to it.

Widen your distance first, since it is free. Then widen the age range by a year or two. If the pool is still thin, run a second app beside eHarmony and compare the same photos and the same written lines.

My rule for any app is that your results depend on whether the women on it are really looking to date, and that a man can do badly on one app and well on another. So a thin list on one site is a reason to test another, not a verdict on you.

Once the count tells you the pool is there, treat it as a place that rewards effort. Answer the quiz as you are, give every question two or three specific sentences and write to women soon after you spot them. Pick one detail from her page and ask about it.

Then count what comes back. Women liked, matches, replies, plans and dates. That sequence tells you more about whether eHarmony fits your age than any average could.