What Are Relationship Goals on Tinder?

Relationship Goals is a Tinder feature that lets you signal what you are looking for before a single message is sent. There are six options, from a long-term partner at one end to short-term fun at the other, with room for people who are open either way or still working it out. You set it or change it from the Edit Info screen. The choice takes seconds and is easy to get wrong, because it shapes who is interested in you and what she expects once you start talking.

Tinder lists six choices:

• Long-term partner
• Long-term open to short
• Short-term open to long
• Short-term fun
• New friends
• Still figuring it out

The first four run from most serious to most casual. The two in the middle say that you lean one way but are not rigid about it. New friends is for people who want exactly that. Still figuring it out is for anyone who honestly does not know yet.

Tap the profile icon, then tap the pencil icon or Edit Info. Relationship Goals is one of the fields you can edit there, alongside things like your bio and interests. Pick the option that fits and you are done.

You can come back and change it whenever your answer changes. Nothing about it is permanent.

The temptation is to choose whatever seems most attractive rather than what is accurate. It is a bad trade either way.

a dating coach makes a point about online dating that many men miss. Most women on the apps are there hoping for a relationship, and a man who is good at dating and actually wants one is exactly who they are looking for. If that is you, say so. Choosing Long-term partner is not needy. It is a filter that brings the right women toward you.

If what you want is casual, say that too. Setting a serious goal to get more interest, then acting on a casual one, lands you on dates with women who expected something else. Those dates go badly, and they waste an evening for both of you.

Do not pick New friends as a way to seem harmless, either. It tells women you are not there to date them, and most will believe you.

Most men, if they are honest, are somewhere in the middle. They are not looking to get married next month, and they would not walk away from the right woman just because they met her sooner than planned.

That is what Long-term open to short and Short-term open to long are for. coach describes his own answer to the question in almost those terms. He is not looking to rush into anything, but if he meets someone of real quality, he is not going to let that go.

Choose whichever side you genuinely lean toward. Still figuring it out is fine if it is true, but know that a woman who wants something lasting may read it as a man who has not decided whether she is worth it.

Her setting is useful information, so read it before you swipe and before you write.

If she wants a long-term partner and you want short-term fun, the kind thing and the efficient thing are the same. Pass, and spare you both the confusion. If her choice sits in the middle, the conversation will tell you more than the setting can.

One small thing: do not open with "so what are you looking for?" She has already told you, and asking in your first line turns a flirt into an interview. Talk to her about something she chose to show you instead.

Expect to be asked what you are looking for on any good date. My approach is to stay between two extremes: not so platonic and earnest that you sound like you are proposing, and not so openly sexual that she feels like a checkbox.

Something in the spirit of "I'm not in a rush to marry anyone, but if I meet someone great, I'm not letting her walk off" works for most men. It is honest, it is relaxed, and it matches what your Tinder setting already told her.