What Are Good Would You Rather Openers for Tinder?

A good would you rather opener is built from something she wrote or showed, and both choices are things a real person would weigh. It hands her an answer she can type in one word and a reason she will probably add on her own. The ones copied off a list get ignored, because she has likely read them before.

Most openers make her do the thinking. "Hey" and "how is your week" ask her to decide what to say, how much to say, and whether you are worth the effort.

A would you rather removes that work. She does not have to invent a topic, only pick a side. a dating coach's advice on openers points the same way: keep it short, make it about her, and give her something easy to answer. A choice between two options is about as easy as an answer gets.

It also gives you a free second line. People rarely pick without explaining, so her reply usually carries the next thing to talk about.

The list versions fail because they could be sent to anyone. "Would you rather fly or be invisible" tells her you did not read a word of her page.

Look for one real detail and turn it into a fork. a dating coach's habit is to comment on something she wrote rather than on how she looks, because it reads as more genuine. A would you rather is a friendly way to do exactly that.

Here are examples of the shape. Use her details, not these.

• She mentions a dog: "Would you rather your dog behave perfectly in public, or stay the one who steals food off a stranger's plate?"
• She lists a trip: "Would you rather get lost in a city you love, or follow a perfect itinerary somewhere average?"
• She says she cooks: "Would you rather cook a seven-hour dish for friends, or order in and pretend you made it?"
• She climbs: "Would you rather get one hard route, or ten easy ones?"

Each of these says you read her page, takes a light side, and ends on a choice she can answer quickly.

An option nobody would pick is not a choice. "Would you rather have a great weekend or a terrible one" has one answer, so it reads as a statement in disguise.

The test is simple. If you would have to stop and think about your own answer, it is a real choice. Two weekends you might actually book, two foods you might actually order, two habits you might actually admit to. A question you have not settled yourself carries more energy than one you invented.

Some versions cost you the chat before it starts.

Skip anything with a right answer. A would you rather about money, exes, or politics reads as a test, and a woman who feels tested usually stops replying.

Skip anything sexual or extreme. A gross or shocking option makes your friends laugh and makes a stranger close the chat, since she has no context for your sense of humor yet.

Skip stacking. One question is an opener. Three in a row is a quiz, and she will answer the easiest one and ignore the rest.

Skip the long setup. If it takes four lines to explain the two choices, the choices were not good.

She answered, so now you have something real. The mistake is to say "nice" and watch the chat die.

Take the reason, not the pick. If she chose the long-cooked dish because she likes a project, ask what she is working on now, or tell her about your own failed attempt at something similar. One line of yours, then one question of hers.

Then stop playing the game. A would you rather is a door opener. If you keep trading hypotheticals for a week, you are chatting with a woman you have not met, which is not the point. Within a few exchanges, aim at a plan: a drink, a coffee, a specific night.

You do not have to use this shape every time. If her page gives you a funny, specific detail, a direct tease may beat a question. If it gives you almost nothing, a plain question about the one thing you can see works better than forcing a clever game onto a blank page.

The would you rather earns its place when you can build it in ten seconds from something she actually said. If you cannot, send something else.

Read the message once and ask three questions. Could you send it to the last woman you matched with without changing a word? Could she answer it in under five seconds? Would you be glad to hear her pick?

If the answers are no, yes, yes, send it. If not, change the detail, narrow the choice, and cut a line.